Chapter 16

Buffy sat quietly, listening to Spike’s explanation of his journey. He paced a lot while he was talking, not ever really looking at her for long periods of time. When he finished, He sat in the chair across from her, sighed heavily, and waited. Buffy was eerily quiet, and he feared, correctly so, that it was the calm before the storm.

Buffy looked at him for a few moments, growing more and more perturbed that he wouldn’t look at her. Finally, she said, in a flat tone, “Spike, look at me.”

He looked up at her, and recognized the blank look in her eyes. It was the same look she’d had so frequently after her friends pulled her from heaven and she would come to him for comfort. She looked totally disconnected from the world around her, and it was hard to tell if she was angry or just very hurt.

Finally, she started speaking again, holding his gaze the entire time.    

“So, you mean to tell me that Giles knew where you were the entire time, and he never told me. The whole time I was pregnant, while Maggie was a baby, and I was doing everything I could to search the globe to find you, he knew where you were and he never told me.”

“No, Love, I had been in England about a year when I went to him.”

“Same difference, Spike. So Maggie was about 7 months old when you went to him. He still knew that I was looking for you, that I needed you. And he never mentioned to you that it might be a good idea to at least call me?”

Spike weighed his words carefully before continuing. “No, pet, he never mentioned it. But in all fairness to the Watcher, I never really insisted on knowing anything about you. In fact, I practically told him that I didn’t want to know anything about you.”

WHAT?” she practically shrieked. “I thought you said you were doing this for us, Spike. That the whole time you were on your little quest to find out about the chip malfunction that you were doing it so that we could be together. Or did I misunderstand that lovely little narrative you just told me?”

“No, Buffy, you didn’t misunderstand,” he began slowly, weighing each word. “But I had to do this on my own. I couldn’t do it with the knowledge that you would be sitting here, waiting on me when I was ready to come back. And I couldn’t have rushed through everything I did just to get back to you. And I can tell you, pet, if I had known that you were just sitting here waiting for me I would’ve done everything I could to get back to you as fast as I could, and I’m not convinced that would have been good.”

 Spike stopped for a moment, trying not to let his frustration get the best of him. Finally, he continued. “The whole time I was gone, everything I went through, was for you. I had to know that I could trust myself, before I came back here asking you to trust me. And I had to know that I’d be able to keep you safe. I was trying to be the man you deserve, Buffy, and that’s not something I wanted to rush. As far as not asking the Watcher about you… you made it pretty clear how you felt about me the night that I left. You dismissed me, just like you had hundreds of times before. How was I to know that you felt anything for me?”

Buffy got up and started pacing. Spike watched her pace around the room, wondering what was going through her mind. Soon, she started talking again. “I just can’t believe that the two of you would keep something like this from me. He knew, the whole time, every time I would call him and tell him about some new lead to find you, he never once mentioned that he knew where you were. This is totally unbelievable. And you… I can’t believe you never once asked him point blank if I’d said anything about you. Because he would’ve had to tell you that I did. Every single time I talked to him it was mostly about you.” She continued her pacing, but when she walked over to the steps, Spike stopped her.

“Buffy, where are you going?”

“I need to think, Spike. This is just too much. I’m going upstairs. Stay here in Dawn’s room if you want, go back to your hotel if you want. Right now I’m just too angry and confused to care either way.” With that she walked up the stairs and into her bedroom.

Spike heard the door slam, and thought that was not a good sign. Well, mate, that went much worse than I’d ever imagined. How was I to know that the Watcher actually kept my confidence? I figured he would’ve at least told her that he’d seen me. What a great, sodding mess I’ve made of it all…  He sat there for a few more minutes, but when he didn’t hear anything from upstairs he decided to leave. He went to see the only person he knew could make him feel any better about the situation.

~ ~ ~ ~

It only took him about 15 minutes to reach her place. He knocked and waited patiently for her to answer the door. Finally, the door opened. “Hey Niblet, I know the tiny bit’s probably already sleeping, but I just had to see her for a minute.”

Dawn was shocked to see him, but invited him into her suite quickly. “Spike, you look horrible. What happened? I was sure that you and Buffy would be, um… busy tonight. What with me keeping Maggie and all.”

“Yeah, Bit, I’m in a bit of trouble with big sis. Can I just see Maggie, then I’ll tell you everything?”

“Sure, Spike. She’s in my bedroom. Come on…”

Spike followed Dawn down the little hallway into her room, wondering how she managed to have such a nice room all to herself. He’d have to ask her about this later. They went into her room, and Maggie was sleeping soundly, tucked into the covers of Dawn’s bed. Spike sat gently on the edge of the bed, trying hard not to wake her. When he reached out to tuck a loose curl behind her ear, though, her eyes opened, and she warily looked around to see who had woken her.

“Daddy…” she sleepily said. “Why are you here?”

He managed a smile, while gently running a finger down her cheek. “I just missed you, baby. I wanted to come and tell you goodnight.”

“Oh,” she said, as she sat up. “I missed you too.” She crawled into his lap, and loosely wrapped her arms around his neck, before kissing him on the cheek. She yawned, and rubbed her sleepy eyes. “Will you hold me until I fall asleep again? If you do, the monsters won’t come.”

Spike grinned at her, and shifted her weight so she could rest her head on his shoulder. “I will hold you as long as you want, sweetie. And I’ll always be here to chase the monsters from your dreams.”

“Good.”

Before long, Spike heard her breathing even out, and knew that his daughter was asleep again. He gingerly put her back down on Dawn’s bed, and tucked her back in. Finally, he joined Dawn back in her living room, and sat with her on the sofa. He told her the whole story of where he’d been, and what had just happened with Buffy.

“Spike, I just can’t believe that Giles would do something like that.” She noticed when Spike snapped his eyes up to look at her, and decided she should correct what she’s just said. “Not that I’m saying I don’t believe you… because I do. It’s just… how could he at least not tell you about Maggie? I can see why Buffy’s so upset. But I don’t think she’s angry with you, so much as disappointed that you didn’t ask about her sooner.”

“But , Bit, you know how she treated me before I left. I just figured that she still hated me. I honestly thought that she did, and my plan was to come back here and show her how I’d changed… try to win her back. I had no idea she wasn’t going to need some major convincing.”

“Yeah, well, I think Giles should have told you. And whether you protested or not, he should have told Buffy. It would have saved both of you years of loneliness and heartache if he had.”

Spike thought about Dawn’s last statement. Buffy had been lonely while he was gone? Had she really missed him from the beginning? He sighed. “I just don’t know where to turn. I still love her so much, and I just want to make everything right. What am I supposed to do now?”

“Well, I think you should go back to Buffy’s, and just be there for her when she’s ready to talk. She can’t give you the silent treatment forever. Sleep in my old room again and maybe in the morning she’ll be ready to talk to you.”

“Yeah, I guess that does sound like an ok plan. It’s late, I should probably let you get some sleep, Bit.”

“Ok. I have a meeting in the morning with my boss and some other girls from the dorm. But I can keep Maggie as long as you need me to…no classes tomorrow. So tell Buffy to just call me whenever and I’ll bring her home.”

“Will do, Bit. Wait- your boss? Who do you work for, Nibblet?”

“Oh, I’m the dorm director’s assistant. That’s how I get this posh little suite in this building.” She said with a chuckle. “They pay a nice chunk of my tuition, too, which is really nice.”

“Huh. My Nibblet’s all grown up and in charge of others. Who’d have ever guessed?” He mused as a smirk found its way to his lips.

Dawn hugged him. “It’s good to have you back, Spike. Now go make things right with my sister.”

+ + + +

 Buffy cringed when she slammed her door, forgetting how harsh the wood could sound as it cracked against the doorframe. She could feel hot angry tears welling up in her eyes, but willed herself not to cry. She sat on her bed and listened for any signs of movement downstairs; if she was honest with herself she would have admitted that she was waiting for Spike to follow her and try to work things out.

She was disappointed when she heard the front door click shut, followed by the great roar of the engine in Spike’s old car as he sped away down the street. Buffy felt utterly defeated, not really knowing where to begin to fix the mess that had been created that afternoon. Well, she thought wryly, I sent Spike away, I might as well start with the person who’s available…

She picked up the phone and dialed the number that , over the years, she had committed to memory. On the third ring she noticed the time, and laughed bitterly to herself. It was the middle of the night in England, and Buffy didn’t really care that she would be waking Giles at such a horrible hour.

After a small click and a rather cordial greeting Buffy began speaking to the answering machine that was suddenly quite offensive to her. “Giles. Pick up the phone, I know it’s the middle of the night there and I know you’re home. So pick up. We need to talk- right now.

A sleepy British accent sounded over the line, sounding partially confused, but also a little bit defensive. “Buffy, good Lord, what is the meaning of all of this? What’s so important that you couldn’t wait until morning to call me?”

She could practically hear him cleaning his glasses as she began to talk to him, trying her best not to loose her cool. “Oh, I don’t know, Giles. How about the fact that Maggie shouldn’t have had to miss the last five years with her father, always wondering where he was and why he didn’t come to see her? Is that important enough for you?”

“So, I take it Spike has been there, then?”

“Yes, Giles. He’s been here for a couple of days. Maggie is just ecstatic that he’s here. So it really is true, then, You knew all along where he was and never even mentioned to me that you could help me find him?”

“Buffy, you have to understand…”

“No, Giles. I don’t have to understand anything. You knew how desperately I wanted to find him, to tell him about Maggie and have my family together. And you knew where he was, and could have told either him or me so that could have happened, yet you didn’t. I can’t believe you did this to me, Giles.”

“Buffy, I didn’t do anything to you. I was trying to do something for you. He came to me seeking answers, and wanting desperately to be able to protect you. He didn’t want there to be any chance that he’d hurt you. We’ve all seen quite a change in Spike, and I was trying to help him become the person he thought you deserved. I’m sorry if you think that my motives were less than honorable in keeping a confidence for him.”

Buffy sighed. “You know, that’s basically what he said to me. I’m just still having a hard time with all of this, Giles. I mean, Spike didn’t know about Maggie, so he had no real reason to come rushing back to me. I certainly hadn’t given him any real reasons before he left.  But you knew… you knew the whole story and didn’t tell him. I’m not so angry anymore, Giles, just hurt.”

“Well, I’m sorry that I’ve hurt you Buffy. That was not my intent at all. I hope that once you take some time to think about this that you’ll see that everything quite possibly is working out for the best.”

“Maybe so. I have to go now. Maggie is at Dawn’s and I need to call and check on her. Besides, its late. I’ll talk to you soon. Good night Giles.” She hung up the phone and sat back down on her bed. She thought about calling to check on Maggie, like she’d intended, but noticed the time and figured that she and Dawn would already be asleep.

Buffy curled up on her bed, staring out her window at the stars, and wondered what she should do. She couldn't really be mad at Spike. After talking to Giles she realized that he really did have her best interests in mind while he was gone, and she admired that he was trying so hard to be noble for her… for them, really. She still wasn’t sure about Giles, though. That was a hurt that would take a lot longer to heal.

Chapter 17

Lying there on her bed, gazing at the stars, Buffy felt way too passive. All these wounds had been opened tonight, and she felt like there should be something that she could do about it, other than lie there and sulk. Just as she felt herself slipping back into the Buffy of old, the Buffy that would cry and sniffle and then blame herself for everything that had happened that evening, she decided to take a different path. She wasn’t going to sit there in her room and play hostess to the current pity party. And she certainly wasn’t packing any bags for a guilt trip on the Buffy express.

She got up with a start, and headed to the basement.

The basement had, over the last five years, been slowly renovated into the perfect training space for Buffy. Having Maggie didn’t make it so easy to make it to the Magic Box to train, since she usually only caught small bouts of training when Maggie was napping or at playgroup. The once sparse basement now housed her laundry “room” in the back corner, while the rest of the space was occupied with her punching bag, exercise mats, balance beams, weights and other equipment.

Scrounging around in the laundry basket on top of the dryer, she found a tank top and some old sweat pants to quickly change into. Buffy hastily taped her knuckles, and then began to pummel the bag hanging from the opposite corner of the room.

She hit the bag tentatively at first, then allowed her blows to form a steady, harsh rhythm. She hadn’t really used the bag that much in training lately, and Buffy found that the rough feel of the canvas and the satisfying squish of sand beneath her knuckles were oddly comforting. She poured out all of her frustrations, all of her doubts, and all of her fears, letting the punching bag take the brunt of her wild emotions. She was so caught up in this old routine of hers that she didn’t even hear the front door swing open and click closed.

+ + + +

Spike entered the back door to Buffy’s house with trepidation, completely unsure what he would find. He knew that once Buffy was totally ticked off, she could stay that way for a while. He didn’t know if she would still be fuming up in her room, if she would have fallen asleep by now, or if she would be waiting for him in the kitchen to give him the beating of his life.

Just as he closed the door behind him, the refrigerator fan clicked off, and the loss of its comforting hum plunged the room into an eerie silence. The whole house felt still, yet possessed with a stressful tension.

He stood there, having no plan of action other than to follow the Niblet’s instructions. Go make things right with my sister, she had urged. Just then he saw that the door to the basement was ajar, and heard the sounds coming from below; the heaving breathing and frustrated grunts occasionally pierced by colorful curses that he had no idea she even knew. Spike crept down the first couple of steps, until he could barely see Buffy, taking her frustrations out on the punching bag. She was so absorbed in what she was doing that if she sensed his presence, she never let on. He quickly, yet stealthily, retreated, thinking that making things right was going to be harder than he’d originally imagined.

He decided to leave her alone, and silently locked the front and back doors before going to Dawn’s old room. He was suddenly overwhelmed at how tired he felt, both physically and emotionally. Shrugging out of his duster, t-shirt and boots, Spike crawled into the bed and burrowed under the covers that felt oddly comforting. Before too long he drifted into a deeply sound, yet dreamless sleep.

+ + + +

Buffy ascended the stairs to her room, vacantly peeling the layers of tape from her hands. Pushing a sweat-drenched lock of hair from her eyes, she decided to by-pass her room and head straight for the shower. Her slayer sense perked up a little, but she let it go, feeling that she was safe in her own house.

Once out of the shower, she felt a bit renewed, yet still upset with Giles, and regretting her earlier outburst with Spike. She really wished that she had not dismissed him so absently earlier, pretending that she didn’t care if he left or if he stayed. Her made-up apathy and flippant dismissal of him was what had gotten her in this predicament to begin with. Slipping on her nightgown and draping her robe around her shoulders, she left the steamy bathroom to head to her own bed.

Just as she cinched the robe around her waist, she felt her slayer senses tingling again, but not in a bad way. In that oh-so-good way they did whenever Spike was around. She glanced over to Dawn’s doorway, and noticed that the door was halfway closed.  Peeking in, a sad smile found its way to her lips. Thin strands of moonlight found their way through the windows that had been carelessly left uncovered and fell on his white-blonde hair, making it look as if the stars were dancing around his head. One hand rested on his bare chest, just above his un-beating heart, while the other rested outstretched on the bed as if beckoning her into an embrace. Buffy remembered how he had usually looked so peaceful in sleep, but this night she noticed that a disappointed scowl found its way to his chiseled features, giving the appearance that he was in some sort of turmoil. Turmoil that she caused.

Entering the room and sitting gently on the edge of the bed, she looked at him for another moment before she started speaking. “Oh, Spike, I feel like I’ve made a total mess of things. Deep inside, I know that you weren’t trying to hurt me. You were trying to protect me. And you’ll never know how proud I am of you. I just tend to over react, as usual. Why do I have such a problem telling you things like this when you’re awake?”

He had remained unphased by her soft declaration, still sleeping soundly. She let one of her hands hover over his that rested on his chest, and noticed that the scowl left his face when their skin finally came into contact. Feeling a little bit bolder, she laced their fingers together, and leaned over to place a feather-light kiss on his lips.

She barely pulled back, only far enough that she could see when his eyes drifted open. He squinted, trying to figure out if she was really there, or if he was dreaming. Confusion swept over his face, as he began to question her presence. “Buffy, what…?”

She silenced him by placing her index finger over his lips, and feeling the electricity that was building between them. With her face still mere inches from his, she whispered “Tell me you love me.”

The confused expression stayed, and before Spike could form the words, Buffy whispered again.

“Tell me you want me.”

Spike’s eyes grew wide as the words became suddenly familiar, and he remembered the last time he’d heard them. “Slayer…” he started, with a warning in his voice.

“Please, Spike. Tell me. Help me make this right. Please…”

It was the second please that broke his resolve. His other hand came up to the back of her neck, pulling her toward him. Their lips met in a surprisingly gentle, yet passionate kiss. “I love you, Buffy.” Spike said as she broke away to breathe. He kissed her again, this time letting go of the hand that she was holding on to, and using it for leverage to sit both of them up. Pulling back to look in her eyes, he repeated what she needed to hear. “I love you, pet. And I’ve never stopped wanting you.”

Her eyes glistened, and she tried to make her hands be everywhere at once. She pulled him toward her for another kiss, and let her hands roam over the exposed skin of his back and chest. Spike began an exploration of his own, running his fingers through the ends of her hair, and holding either side of her face while he rained soft kisses on her. When his hand deftly untied her robe and began to push it off her shoulders, she abruptly jumped up off the bed and grabbed his hand, beckoning him to come with her.

“Love, what are you doing?”

“Come on…” she said, as if she was making perfect sense. Her directive was met with a skeptical look from Spike.

“Come Spike, with me… to my room, my bed,” she said, while still trying to tug on his hand. Finally she managed to get him up on his feet. She pulled him close again, started walking backwards, pulling him along the way. In between tiny kisses to his cheeks and shoulders, she said “I mean, I love you and all, but this is still my sister’s room and that’s just… ewww!”

He stopped, refusing to follow her anymore. “Pardon, Love? Come again?”

“My room, Spike, let’s go.” She breathed out, still in between kisses.

“No, pet. I got that part. Say the other part again.”

“Huh?”

He barely cocked his head to the side, waiting for realization to sink in. He smirked when it did.

Her mouth fell open, in a perfect “oh…” shape. He half expected her to start backpedaling and try to take it back, even though he’d heard her whisper it from the porch on his first night back. He was happily surprised when she smiled, so brightly that he could have sworn he was watching the sunrise. “I love you Spike.”

She watched as his eyes lit up, and a genuine, happy grin formed on his face. “Well, Love, it certainly took you long enough.”

She playfully smacked him on the arm. “Always the smart-ass, aren’t you Spike?” She grabbed his hand and once again started tugging him toward her room. Once they were out in the hall, Spike suddenly swooped her up in his arms, and carried her the rest of the way, making a grand production of kicking the door shut and depositing her on the bed.

He looked at her, with such raw emotion in his eyes that Buffy could barely stand the intensity.  What she didn’t realize was that she was matching his gaze almost perfectly. They could just about feel the air change around them, becoming thick with the electricity and tension of their anticipation. Slowly, Spike approached her, and gently placed a hand on either side of her face, bringing her lips toward his and capturing them in a tender kiss.

“Love, if this is a dream, promise you won’t ever wake me.”

“It’s not a dream, Spike. And by my calculations, we have a lot of time to make up for,” she said, with a little bit of a gleam in her eye.

“That we do, Love, that we do.” He practically pounced on her, devouring her mouth in a deep, passionate kiss.

“Wait, Spike,” she said, pulling back from his kiss. He looked confused, and was disappointed with the sudden loss of contact with her. Suddenly a little shy, she looked up at him and almost whispered, “Will you… I mean, can we… I don’t want it to be like before you left.”

He thought he understood what she was getting at, but the selfish part of him desperately wanted to hear her say it. He nodded, encouraging her to continue, saying, “It doesn’t have to be, Buffy.”

“Make love to me, Spike. Let me show you how much I love you.”

He once again began raining gentle kisses all over her face and neck, and they got a good start on making up for all the time they had lost.

Chapter 18

Spike awoke feeling warmer than he’d felt in years. He sighed before opening his eyes, relishing the feel of waking up holding the woman he loved in his arms. When he did open his eyes, he could almost felt his heart beat, noticing how beautiful Buffy looked. She was curled up in his arms, with her head resting on his chest, a peaceful look on her face and a contented smile gracing her lips. He felt a wave of happiness wash over him; before she had never let him hold her like this, they’d never spent an entire night together (aside from the first night in that abandoned house) and he certainly had never woken up to see a smile plastered on her face before she even woke up. Then a stab of pain found its way into his heart as he remembered the few times that they’d actually spent any time together after their marathon romps around the crypt. He remembered how he would think that he saw a spark of caring in her eyes, and then they would glaze over again, replaced with a cool, non-caring gaze before she would remind him what a huge mistake they were making and then bolt out the door. His eyes misted up with tears when the fear and uncertainty of her reaction this morning crept into his mind. What if she did it again? What if what happened last night was all just comfort for her, and this morning she would again think that they’d made a mistake? Spike didn’t think that he would be able to take it if that was her reaction, and he carefully started formulating a plan to try and avoid any reaction at all from her. He tried to contemplate a way that he could get up and sneak out, but judging from the way Buffy was still wrapped around him and holding onto him, he didn’t really know how he could manage to escape.

Buffy shifted a little in her sleep, and her slight movement jarred Spike from his thoughts. He flinched when he felt her move, and jostled her just enough to wake her from her peaceful sleep. She opened her eyes, a little warily at first, and turned her head to squint up at Spike. He waited for her reaction, having already convinced himself that it was going to be bad; that they were doomed to fall back into their old patterns.

She studied him for a moment, creasing her forehead with worry while she took in the hesitation and uncertainty in his eyes. Finally, she said “Good morning Spike.”

Good morning. That’s a new one, he thought as he continued to stare at her. “Morning, Love,” he replied.

The silence stretched between them once again, and they just continued to lay there, neither one moving. Finally, Buffy let a huge grin break over her features. “Morning? That’s all I get, Spike? Really, I thought that given the chance you’d be a lot more romantic.” Shock took over the look of uncertainty as she started to pout at him. “Don’t I even get a good morning kiss?”

“Oh, I’ll show you romantic, pet. I’ve been waiting five years to show you romantic,” he practically purred.

Buffy squealed as Spike held her closer to him and rolled her over on her back. Neither of them cared that the sheets were now tangled around them or that they’d just managed to kick the comforter off into the floor. Spike leaned down and kissed Buffy until she was breathless, and then kissed her a few more seconds before releasing her to breathe.  

He pulled back slightly to look at her flushed face. He grinned as her eyes fluttered open again and she panted to catch her breath. “Good morning, Love.”

She smiled and reached her hand up to caress his cheek. “Wow,” was all she could come up with. She swatted his hand away as he tried to pull her closer to him again.

“Spike… stop. If you don’t stop I’ll never get anything done today.”

“Would that be so bad, pet?”

She rolled her eyes and playfully said “No, I guess not. We’ll just stay here in bed all day, then you can explain to your daughter why her birthday party isn’t planned.”

“Right then. Off you go.”

She kissed him and scampered off to the shower. He propped up in the bed, and contemplated how great things were turning out. Then, he remembered that Maggie’s party was in a few days, and he started thinking of how much of Maggie’s life he’d missed out on. When Buffy came back from the shower, she found Spike sitting in the middle of her bed, flipping through a photo album and looking like he was on the verge of tears.

“Spike?” Her brow knit together when he looked up at her and the look in his eyes made her heart feel like it was breaking. “What’s wrong, Spike?”

“I just can’t believe I wasn’t here. I missed her birthday parties, and all of this other important stuff in her life, and there’s no way I can make that up to her. Ever.”

“Spike. You have got to stop beating yourself up about this. Sure, I would’ve loved it if you were here for all of those birthdays and milestones. But you’re here now, and you’ll be here for all the good things that will happen from now on. She’s so excited that you’ve come home, and she’s not going to understand if you’re sad every time you look at her because you regret not being here.” She pulled him into her arms and held him, trying to soothe away his sadness. “I think that from now on, we should just have no regrets. What’s done is done, and if we dwell on what happened five years ago, how can we make the next five years of her life wonderful?”

“I know, Buffy. Ok then, no more regrets. So what do we have to do to make sure our princess has the best birthday party ever?”

+ + + + +

The next few days passed by quickly, and each day Maggie got more and more excited about her party. On the morning of, Spike and Buffy were awakened by an overly ecstatic Maggie jumping on their bed. She climbed up onto the bed, and pounced right in the middle of them.

“It’s my day! I’m five! I’m five!” She chanted as she bounced on the bed. Buffy stifled a giggle as she heard Spike groan and open one eye to look up at Maggie.

“Sweetie, stop jumping on Mommy’s bed.” Buffy prodded, trying to get her child to calm down, even though she knew that it was probably a lost cause.

“But it’s time for my party, Mommy! I’m so excited…” she said, as she started to test her bouncing skills again. “And Auntie Willow is coming today, right? And I get to have cake, and Daddy will be there. It’s my best party ever!”

Spike decided he should probably jump in. “Uh, Bit, it’s still pretty early. Your party doesn’t start until later this afternoon, remember?”

Her smile faded as she considered what he said. “Oh. Yeah.” She stopped bouncing and just sat there, looking at Spike as a frown settled on her face.

“Oi, what’s that frown for?” Spike asked as he reached out and grabbed Maggie, pulling her close to him and cradling her in his arms.

“Nothing,” she said quietly. “I just want my party to be here, and you said I had to wait.”

Buffy watched in awe, knowing that Maggie was just working to wrap Spike around her little finger a little bit tighter. Spike kissed the top of her head, and leaned down to whisper in her ear.

“Tell you what, Lil’Bit… you go in your room and get your little table cleaned off, and I’ll go make us some breakfast, and you and I will have our own early party, just for us. How does that sound?”

Her eyes lit up as she thought about his proposition. “We can eat breakfast in my room?”

“We sure can,” Spike told her.

“But… Mommy doesn’t let me eat in my room, only if I’m sick.” She told him.

“Well, I think that Mommy will let us make an exception for your birthday. And if you like, it’ll be our special time. We’ll always have birthday breakfast from now on. Just us.”

“Really? You mean it?” She asked, the smile that lit his world slowly returning to her face.

“I really mean it. Now go on, and get ready. I’ll be there in just a bit.”

“Ok!” she exclaimed, jumping off the bed and heading for the door.  When she got to the door, she turned back. “Mama, you’ll help Daddy cook my breakfast, right? So that it’s good?”

Buffy almost laughed out loud, right in front of Maggie. The look on Spike’s face was priceless as his daughter questioned his cooking skills. “Yeah, sweetie, I’ll make sure he gets it right,” she said, turning to wink at Spike. Maggie seemed satisfied, and ran down the hall to her own room. Buffy snickered, and finally just lost control and started giggling, much to Spike’s dismay.

“Uh, pet, what’s so bleeding funny? Have you lost it or something?”

“No, Spike… I just wish that you could have seen your face, when she asked if I’d make sure you made her a good breakfast. It was like she’d just delivered the insult of the century.” By this time, she was laughing so hard, she was gasping for air. “And I just kept thinking… the Big Bad Vamp is sitting here, with his pride wounded because his daughter thinks that he can’t cook.”

Spike rolled his eyes and flopped back down on the bed. “Fine, have a good laugh, slayer. I just wanted to do something special,” he grumbled, as he turned away from her. Buffy could tell that she’d pushed too far.

She scooted over closer to him and wrapped her arms around him, despite his attempts to squirm away. She placed a little trail of kisses from his temple to his ear, and then whispered “I think it’s sweet that you wanted to do something for her birthday, just the two of you. And you’ll never know what that will mean to her. She’ll look forward to it, every year.”

Spike turned to face her. “Well, pet, I just wanted to try and make up…”

“Spike, remember what we said a few days ago. No more regrets.”

“I know…”

“Oh! And you just experienced a family tradition. I forgot to tell you. She always comes in and wakes me up like that on her birthday. Dawn actually started it, and now that Maggie’s old enough to get up on her own, she does it every year. She comes in and pounces like that, and reminds me what day it is, as if I could forget.”

Spike smiled. “What do you mean Dawn started it? Tell me the story.”

“Well, Mom used to wake us up early on our birthdays and remind us that it was our special day. When Maggie was one, Dawn remembered how Mom used to do it, and decided to alter the tradition a bit. She went in and got Maggie up early, and then crept into my room, and bounced on the bed with Maggie, singing some little song she made up about it being her birthday. Maggie’s done it ever since. On her birthday and at Christmas. I’m so used to her doing it, that I totally forgot to tell you last night that she’d likely wake us up this morning.”

“I actually sort of enjoyed the surprise, Love. Now, I guess I’d better get up and go make breakfast for my princess.”

+ + + +

While Spike and Maggie had breakfast in her room, Buffy finished cleaning up the living room and the kitchen in preparation for the impending onslaught of the 5-year-olds of the neighborhood. Just as she was pouring her second cup of coffee, a small knock on the back door caught her attention. She went to the door, and was happily surprised when she opened it.

“Willow! I didn’t think you were coming over until later, with Xander!” Buffy ushered the red head into the kitchen, hugging her as soon as the door closed behind them.

“Well, that was the original plan. But I woke up this morning with way more energy than I though I’d have after my flight yesterday, so I decided to come see how my favorite little munchkin was doing.”

“Well, she’s actually upstairs having a special birthday breakfast with her father,” Buffy told Willow, smiling slightly at her best friend. “Come upstairs, but quietly. You have to see this.”

The two friends climbed the stairs and stood quietly outside Maggie’s room. Spike was sitting on the floor, and Maggie sat in her little chair at the tiny table in her room. A little tea set sat in the middle of the table, while full size plates, forks, and glasses took up most of the room on the table. The two sat there, happily munching on pancakes and scrambled eggs, and Maggie sipped milk from her glass while Spike nonchalantly sipped a strange combination of coffee and blood from his coffee mug. They each wore a little paper hat, with “Happy Birthday!” written on the front, that Spike had found among the party decorations that Buffy had assembled for later. While they ate, Spike was telling Maggie an amazing story about a princess and her father, the king, who celebrated birthdays in a castle in England.

Willow’s eyes got misty as she stood and watched the two of them together. She couldn’t believe that she’d had any doubts about Spike being back in Buffy’s life, and at that moment she knew that she’d do nothing but support his presence.

Buffy tugged on Willow’s sleeve, and motioned for her to follow back downstairs. Once they were back in the kitchen, tears began to slip down Willow’s cheeks. “Will, what’s wrong?” Buffy asked, growing concerned.

“That was the sweetest thing I think I’ve ever seen,” she started. “Buffy, about the other day when I called. I didn’t mean to not be supportive. And I just want you to know that I’m so happy for you that he’s back, and I promise from now on I’ll be nothing but supportive for you and your family.”

Buffy walked over and hugged her friend again. “Oh, Will, I know. And thanks. I’m so happy to have my family together and happy, and it means so much that you’re happy for me.”

They smiled, and Willow wiped the tears from her face. Buffy, however, started to chew on her bottom lip, worry crossing her features. “I knew that you would be happy for me, Willow, and Dawn was too, once she got over the initial shock. Xander on the other hand…”

Willow put her hand up, motioning for Buffy to stop. Then she put on her famous resolve face. “Don’t worry about it. You just let me handle Xander.”

Chapter 19

Spike groaned as he listened to the conversation coming from the room next to him. Maggie insisted that she wear her pink princess outfit to the birthday party, while Buffy gently tried to convince her to wear the new sundress that she’d bought just for this occasion. After about twenty minutes of the debate, Willow had jumped into the fray, desperately trying to help Buffy convince Maggie to wear the dress. After about fifteen more minutes, Buffy appeared in the doorway, glaring at Spike as he stood in the doorway to their bedroom listening to what was going on.

“Help me!” she demanded, knowing that all it would take was Spike coming into the room for Maggie to settle down.

Spike sauntered into the room, taking in the sight of an exasperated Willow sitting on Maggie’s bed holding the new sundress while Maggie danced around in her little shorts and t-shirt, with her princess outfit dangling from her right hand and a little tiara dangling from her left. Buffy followed behind him, crossing her arms over her chest and huffing.

“Wow, Red, that’s a very pretty dress you have, I bet it’ll be lovely on,” Spike drawled, the only response from Willow being a roll of her eyes.

“That’s not Auntie Willow’s dress, Daddy, it’s mine” Maggie said as she stopped dancing around and looked up at him. “Do you like it?”

“I love it, but it looks like you’d rather wear your princess outfit, so I guess I won’t get to see you in your pretty new birthday dress.”

“You want me to wear it?”

“I would love for you to wear the dress to your party. And I think that Mommy would be happy if you wore the dress that she bought for you too.”

“Ok. Auntie Willow can help me. How long till my party starts?”

Buffy looked at her watch. “A little less than an hour. Will you be good and let Auntie Willow help you get dressed while I go finish up some things in the kitchen?”

Maggie nodded her head, and Buffy and Spike went downstairs to finish the party preparations. Once in the kitchen, Buffy turned to glare at Spike again. “You couldn’t have done that about twenty minutes earlier? You knew all she needed was for you to come in and tell her you like the dress for her to agree to wear it.”

“I know, Pet. But it was too much fun listening to my girls go round and round. She definitely takes after you when it comes to trying to get her way.” Spike smirked as he stepped closer to Buffy and reached out to pull her toward him.

“Oh, no you don’t. Don’t think you can just swagger up to me and give me some sexy smirk and make me forget why I’m dangerously close to making you sleep on the sofa tonight.”

He continued to pull her into his arms, despite her pitiful attempt to struggle. Spike wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her close to him before turning her around and massaging the tight muscles in her shoulders and back. As she started to relax against him, he leaned in and kissed her earlobe, his voice sending shivers along her spine as he whispered “You won’t make me sleep on the sofa, Love, because you know if you do then we won’t get to continue this later.”

“And you like to think you’re not evil anymore,” she said, laughing as she turned around to kiss him briefly on the lips.  “Now, lets get the rest of these decorations put up before every child in the neighborhood gets here.”

Soon Maggie bounded down the stairs, with Willow following closely behind. Maggie was wearing the new sundress that Buffy had bought for her, but the tiara that went with her princess outfit sat lopsided on her little head. Spike and Buffy grinned as they noticed it, deciding to let her wear it, since it was her birthday. Before she could realize it, Spike swooped her up into his arms and spun her around, telling her how beautiful she looked.

“I love you Daddy, I’m glad that you’re here for my party” she said, bringing a huge smile to Spike’s face and causing Buffy and Willow’s eyes to get misty.

“I love you too, Lil’Bit.” He replied, as he reached up to straighten the tiara on her head. Just as he put her down, the doorbell rang, signaling the arrival of the first wave of guests. Buffy opened the door, and Spike was amazed at the sight of all the children pouring into the living room, most of them followed closely by their parents, each carrying gifts wrapped in all shades of paper and ribbons. All of the moms made sure to tell their little ones to be good before confirming with Buffy what time they should be back to pick them up.  Spike noticed Maggie talking with one of the little girls, and overheard her call the girl Chloe. He grinned as he thought of the idiosyncrasies of children, how they would be having the fight of a lifetime one day and be best friends again the next. He strolled over to Buffy and Willow, just as both of them were noticing that the Harris family had not yet arrived.

“They didn’t say anything about being late when I left this morning, Buffy.  I’m sure that they’ll be here soon.” Willow said. “ If they aren’t here in a little while I’ll call and make sure everything is okay. I really have no idea what could be keeping them.”

At that moment, Anya walked through the front door, with little Alex in tow. “I’ll tell you what kept us. Xander was acting like more of a four year old than his son, that’s what!” she exclaimed. “Honey, go tell Maggie Happy Birthday and put her gift on the table. I’ll be there in a minute. Spike! Willow mentioned that you were back! How have you been?”

Spike took in the flurry of movement and speech that was Anya, noting that she really hadn’t changed much at all, just like the rest of the Scoobies. He grinned, and replied “I’ve been pretty good, Anya, especially since I got back and have been spending time with Maggie and Buffy. I’m surprised that the whelp didn’t tell you I was back though… he did see me the other day when he stopped by.”

“Oh, well, you know Xander. Sometimes he can’t get over himself long enough to act like a grown up.” She said, rolling her eyes. Spike smiled at her bluntness, and was thankful when the front door opened yet again and Dawn breezed in, carrying a huge gift bag and two boxes, all wrapped in dark purple paper and tied with lavender ribbons.

Spike went to help her with her load, as Buffy, Willow and Anya all greeted her. “Dawnie, you’re going to spoil her with all those presents,” Buffy started. “I told you only one.”

“Oi! She can spoil my little girl all she wants to” Spike interrupted. They all made their way into the living room to get the party off to a proper start. First the children gathered around and played a game with Dawn; while the other adults watched and giggled at how much fun the children seemed to be having. Then it was Willow’s turn to entertain them with her neat card tricks that Maggie seemed to love so much. After several more games, Buffy convinced them to watch the newest Blue’s clues video while she and Dawn got the cake ready.  Maggie insisted that her Daddy watch with them, and that she sit in his lap while they watched.

A few minutes into the video, Willow thought she noticed a familiar brunette pass by the front window. “Uh, Spike… are you ok with the kids? I need to go outside and get some air for a minute.” She knew it was a lame excuse as soon as his scarred eyebrow shot up to question her sudden outburst, but he nodded anyway, and she excused herself from the room.

Once the front door closed behind her, she looked around but didn’t see him. “Xander Harris, I know you’re out here, so you might as well go ahead and come out.” Xander stepped around the side of the tree that Spike used to hide behind so many years before and tried to put on a resistant face to counter Willow’s resolve. “What are you doing lurking around out here? Why didn’t you just come inside like a normal party guest?”

“You know why, Willow. He’s there. And I’m just not so sure about him being back yet,” he told her, as he started kicking the dirt at his feet with the toe of his shoe.

Willow rolled her eyes. “You have got to be kidding me. Anya was right. You do act like a four year old sometimes.”

Xander’s eyes shot up, and he looked as if he didn’t know whether to be really offended that his wife thought he acted like a four year old or that his best friend agreed with her. “I do not act like a child!” he said, as he continued kicking around in the dirt.

“Ok.” Willow stated, motioning to his actions. “Xander, come here.” She commanded. Once he was on the porch, she pushed him over to the window, so that he could see all of the children and Spike sitting around watching the television. As if on queue, Maggie leaned her head over on Spike’s shoulder and Spike kissed her on the forehead, whispering something endearing to her. “Now, tell me, Xander, what exactly looks wrong with that picture?”

“Well, nothing if you don’t know that he’s an evil soulless vampire.”

“Xander, just stop it. Why can’t you grow up and realize that what matters is that Buffy and Maggie are happy. That little girl loves her father more than you or I could ever imagine. And Buffy loves him too. And he loves them.  They are finally a family. Why can’t you just support Buffy and be happy for her?”

Xander just stood there, looking at Willow and not really knowing what to say as she continued. “You know, in all honesty, if we hadn’t been so unsupportive of her relationship with him in the first place, they might not have lost all that time together and Spike wouldn’t have missed out on seeing his little girl be born and start to grow up. But I’ll be damned if I’m going to let your attitude ruin this day for any of them. He’s back, and he’s a part of their lives now, and everyone is fine with it. So you can either suck it up, come in and act like an adult and be happy for Buffy, or you can go home and sulk like a child. What will it be?”

Just then, the video ended and Maggie noticed the pair standing outside, looking in the window. She started waving wildly, and smiling at Xander and Willow. As he waved back to her, Xander said softly “I guess I’m coming in.” They both went inside and Xander was tackled by his own son and by Maggie, both demanding hugs from him.

“Uncle Xander, you’re late.” Maggie said frankly.

“I know, baby. I’m sorry. I didn’t miss presents did I?”

“Nope. Mommy says I have to wait till after cake.”

Spike regarded Xander with a little curiosity until Xander finally spoke. “Hey, man, welcome back. I don’t guess I ever got around to saying that the other day.”

Spike was even more curious at the way in which Xander was speaking to him. He wondered just what Willow had said to him while they were outside, but decided that as long as he didn’t cause any problems it really didn’t matter. “Yeah, thanks. So, Maggie seems pretty excited that you made it to her party. Sorry that you had to be late.”

Xander smiled. “Yeah, well as long as I didn’t miss cake and presents I guess it’s all the same, right?” Their brief conversation was cut short as Buffy called all of the children into the dining room for cake. Spike watched as Buffy brought a cake into the room with a picture of the Count on it. Five candles were placed carefully around the Count’s picture, and after Spike told her to make a wish Dawn snapped a picture just as Maggie blew out the candles.

Later that night, as Spike tucked Maggie in, he couldn’t remember a time when he’d been happier. “Daddy, I’m glad that you were here for my party. It was my best party ever,” she told him as she hugged him tightly.

“I’m glad I was here for it too, Bit. Now you settle in and get some sleep. I’ll see you in the morning.” He tucked her in and turned to see Buffy come into the room to kiss her daughter goodnight. They both stood in the doorway, watching as Maggie blew kisses to them as they turned out the light.

Buffy crossed the hall to her room, but stopped as Spike headed for the stairs. “Spike, where are you going?”

“Well, Love, I seem to remember you saying that I had to sleep on the sofa tonight.”

“Get over here,” she started, reaching out to grab his arm and pull him into their room. “You still owe me a massage.”

A low rumble started in his chest as he gave a saucy look and replied “That I do, Love…”

Chapter 20

Buffy tossed and turned for a moment before finally opening her eyes and sighing heavily. Her eyes fell immediately to the moonlight and bright stars shining through her open window, and she thought how beautiful they were before confusion set in. Why was the window open? She never forgot to cover the windows at night; if she did Spike would be all dusty in the morning. Even more confusing was the fact that he was not laying next to her, and that in the pre-dawn darkness her room looked strange.

She sat up in bed, blinking as she looked around her room. Wait a minute, this is my old room. What’s going on? She looked around and confirmed that she was indeed sitting in her bed, in her old room. Buffy snuck out into the hall, and peeked into the rooms next to hers. Dawn slept peacefully in her bed, and Willow was curled up under the covers in Joyce’s old room. As Buffy walked back into her room, she tried desperately to figure out what was going on. Where were Maggie and Spike? Why were Dawn and Willow here? She didn’t remember feeling this strange since just after the scare with the demon serum and the mental institution hallucinations.

Was I dreaming? Buffy flopped down on her bed, trying to make sense of what was happening. Everything had felt so real. Maggie was turning five years old, and Spike had just come home, and they were a happy family. Now she wakes up and not only are the two people she loved the most not there, but there was no evidence that it had ever been true.

The sudden, slight fluttering in her tummy brought everything crashing back into reality.

She rummaged through the drawer of her nightstand, picking out the worn and usually forgotten journal that she kept there. She looked from the last entry to the calendar that hung lopsided on her wall. Everything was clear as she read her journal through the tears that began to prickle at the back of her eyes. It had only been two days since she’d taken the pregnancy test, and she hadn’t yet told any of her friends about it.  She’d told them that she just wasn’t feeling well, and had basically been sleeping in her room since the little white stick had mockingly stared back at her with a positive result. Today was April 1st, and Buffy knew that if she’d waited until today to take the test she would have sworn the result was the most horrible April Fools joke in the history of such pranks.

All of the feelings from her dream came flooding back to her, but the one that stuck out the most was the loneliness she’d felt without Spike.  But then she realized that her feelings of loneliness weren’t a dream. She had alienated Spike so many times that he was finally leaving her alone. She knew that he was still in Sunnydale, because Dawn had slipped up and mentioned going by the crypt to see him. But he was effectively ignoring Buffy. She put her hand over her stomach protectively, noticing that she was filling out a little bit, but not enough for anyone to notice just yet. “Don’t worry, baby” she said, as she got up and got dressed, “I’m going to tell him, and you won’t have to grow up with out him. I know he’ll love you just like we dreamed.”

+ + + + +

Buffy opened the door to Spike’s crypt, a little out of breath from sprinting through the cemetery in the thick night air. Ok, baby, we’re gonna have to discuss this getting winded thing. It doesn’t really work with the whole slayer calling. She called out for Spike, but eventually saw no signs that he was there. She crept down to the lower level, and instantly felt bad when she surveyed the remnants of the damage left over from the explosion a few weeks earlier. He had cleaned up part of the debris, but the bed was still pretty damaged, and black smoke stains covered the stone walls.  She picked up a few candles and sat them on and old dresser that stood in the corner of the room, only partially charred by the blast. She looked down at the rug she was standing on, noticing how it was all but destroyed. Just a few weeks earlier, she had complimented that same rug, commenting on how nice Spike had managed to make the place. That was all gone now, she mused, as she climbed the ladder back to the upper level.

She wandered around for a few minutes, wondering where Spike could be. Buffy finally sat down and switched on his tv, deciding to wait for him to come back, but her mind just couldn’t concentrate on the countless infomercials that graced the screen in the early morning hours. Her thoughts drifted to the very vivid dream she’d just had, and she suddenly realized what scared her the most. There was a chance that Spike would leave. He always told her he wouldn’t, but she still didn’t feel confident enough to think that he wouldn’t ever leave her. Where is this coming from? This is Spike. What would it matter if he really left? But she knew that was a loaded question, and one that begged an answer.

She’d been trying from the very beginning to deny that she had any feelings for Spike at all. Now, she knew that she felt something, but she still just wasn’t sure what those feelings were, if she was really ready to admit them, and how much they were being affected by her present condition. She’d heard that pregnant women got all hormonal and emotional… could her judgment be clouded? Even so, Buffy found herself in a predicament. What if her dream came true… what if she didn’t tell Spike about the baby right away and he left town and she had to raise the baby all alone? On the other hand, what if she told him and his reaction was still the same? All of the worrying about his reaction and the reaction of all of her friends was taking its toll on Buffy, and she finally let the soft glow and hum of the infomercial soothe her into a troubled sleep.

Spike wandered through the tunnels and into the crypt, cursing the swimminess he felt in his near-drunk state, deciding he hadn’t drank nearly enough to dull the pain of Buffy’s most recent rejection. All thoughts of not being drunk enough left his mind as he registered the sounds of the tv coming from upstairs. He climbed the stairs, distinctly remembering turning the set off before he left.

He stopped in his tracks when he advanced closer and saw the slayer curled up in his chair, sleeping fitfully while the loud man on the telly raved about getting red wine and grape juice out of your laundry. She didn’t look peaceful at all, and his heart nearly broke when he saw the anguish that crossed her features. Nearly. Until he began to wonder what would possess her to come to his crypt in the wee hours of morning. Probably came for another round of kick-the-Spike, he thought ruefully. But, something wasn’t right. He was close enough to her now that he could hear her heartbeat if he was quiet enough, and it sounded off. Like it was normal at first but then had these fast little trippy sounds underneath.  She looked pale, but not really sickly. In fact, he thought she wasn’t looking as skinny as she had a few weeks ago, but she looked so tired, even in her sleep, that he wondered what was up with the slayer.

He wouldn’t have to wonder for long.

A particularly vivid image of Spike walking away penetrated her sleepy mind, and her eyes snapped open when the pain gripped her heart.  She looked up and saw Spike standing over her, regarding her presence with a skepticism that was purely his. She sat up, pushing her hair out of her face and attempting an explanation.

“Spike, you’re back. I was beginning to wonder if you were coming back at all. I mean, not that it’s any of my business, of course, but I just wondered…” she cursed herself when she realized she was babbling.  She rolled her eyes and looked away as he stepped back and shook his head.

“Did you need something, Slayer?”

He noticed that she flinched, and her voice sounded way too tiny when she said, “Please don’t call me that.”

He tilted his head and quirked his eyebrow, wondering where all this vulnerability was coming from. “Ok…. Buffy. Did you need something?”

She finally raised her eyes to meet his again, and took a deep breath to bolster some confidence. Out with it, Buffy. Just tell him what you came here to tell him and get it over with. What’s the worst that will happen? He won’t believe you and you’ll find the information to make him believe and all will be well.  “Um, I.. um, I need to tell you something, Spike. And I need to know that you’ll hear me out and give me a chance to explain.”

“Look, Buffy. If you’re here to remind me about how we’re over, then you can stop now. I’ve heard this tune so many times that I’ve memorized it.”

“No, Spike, this is important. Well, it’s important to me anyway, and I hope it will be important to you.” She said, before her thoughts took a nosedive and she started babbling again. “ I mean, I think you’ll think it’s important, and just please don’t leave again, because I don’t think I could take that feeling again and having to explain to her where you were and why you left us, and….”

“Buffy!” Her eyes snapped up at his tone when he interrupted her. “What the bleeding hell are you going on about? Just spit it out already. I’ve got things to do.”

Something in his tone pushed her over the edge, and she was acutely aware of how he must have felt all those times that she dismissed him without a second thought. She decided to stop beating around the bush and just tell him. “I’m pregnant Spike.”

His eyes grew as wide as saucers as he considered for a second that the child was his. But then reality set in and he remembered that he wasn’t ‘set up’ for children. He was about to shoot back some clever quip when Buffy cut him off. “I know that right now you probably don’t think it’s yours, but it can’t be anyone else’s. And you’d know that if you stop and think for a half a second.”

Her eyes were pleading with him to believe her. “But, I can’t… vampires can’t….” He sighed at his lack of eloquence. “You know this Buffy. Children aren’t possible with vampires.”

“Yeah, under normal circumstances,” she calmly replied. “But Spike, we live on the Hellmouth and our circumstances are hardly normal.”

He sat down with a huff on the stone sarcophagus in the center of the room. Buffy crossed the room and stood in front of him, looking at him and silently asking him to believe her. “I know this is pretty unbelievable,  Spike. But I’m pretty sure that I can figure it all out in the next couple of days. Will you just promise me that you won’t leave until then? Just please say that you won’t leave me. I don’t think I can do this by myself.”

Spike’s brow creased as one eyebrow rose in confusion. He took a chance and reached out for her; surprised when she willingly went into his arms. “Hey now, Love, what makes you think that I’ll be leaving anytime soon? Haven’t you told me on countless occasions to get out of town?” She nodded against his chest. “And how many times have I obeyed?” She looked up at him and grinned before settling back into his embrace.

He held her for a long moment, enjoying the feeling of having her willingly in his arms. It was then that he realized what was odd about her earlier. It wasn’t her heartbeat that sounded strange; it was the baby’s that he was hearing, fluttering beneath hers. Buffy started to fidget in his arms, and he tried to still her.

“Spike, this isn’t the most comfortable position I’m standing in.”

“Well, we can fix that.” He swooped Buffy up into his arms before she even had a chance to protest, and carried her with him over to the chair she’d been occupying earlier. “Better, Love?” he asked, once they were settled with Buffy securely perched in his lap.

To his surprise, she snuggled further into his embrace and laid her head on his shoulder. “Yeah, that’s better,” she sighed.

“Good, now stop your squirming so I can hear my little girls heart beating.”

“How do you know it’s a girl?” Buffy whispered, her breath tickling his neck and making him almost groan.

“I just know, Pet. What made you think I’d leave?”

“I just had this dream, that was part bad, and part good.”

“Want to tell me about it?” He asked, trying really hard to concentrate on anything other than the way her breath felt on his neck, or the way her fingers were absently exploring his chest.

“In a minute.” She replied, while lazily raising her head to look at him. Her tired, hazel eyes met his brilliant blue ones, and she knew that she couldn’t push her feelings away any longer. She loved this man, and didn’t want to spend another moment with out him. And she certainly didn’t want to wait until their daughter’s fifth birthday to tell him. She reached her hand up and ran her thumb across the sharp plane of his cheekbone, gently bringing his face closer to hers. His expression drifted back to confused, until they were within a breath of each other. When she closed the distance between them and kissed him, he was completely shocked. It took him a moment to register what was going on before he responded, kissing her back but keeping the pace slow and gentle. “There’s something else I want to tell you before I tell you all about the dream.”

He smiled at her; a genuine smile free from innuendo or sarcasm. “And what’s that, Pet?”

“I think I’m falling in love with you.”

next part