Rating: R for naughty language
Disclaimer: Joss, Mutant Enemy, blah, blah, blah, you know the drill. They ain’t mine.
Credits: 95% of the funnies in this fic are written and or conceived by my friend and Beta’er Torra. Thanks girl!
Summary: Sequel to “The First Evil” (please read that first). An old enemy has teamed up with the geek squad, bent on re-opening the Hell-mouth. But they need a key. Giles returns, a cross over with AtS and Dawn is using magic…?
Pairing: B/S all the way.
Need to know:
AtS cross-over picks up after “Benediction”, the issue where Connor thinks
Angel killed Holtz gets miraculously solved some how, but since I know more
about BtVS than AtS, I’m not writing that scene. I’ll just leave you to your own
devices on that one.
OKAY, side note: A reminder for those that forget whom “Doc” is. (I’ve had
plenty of people ask me that) Doc is the creepy old guy that cut Dawn up on the
tower and opened the portal Buffy had to jump into save Dawn. He also stabbed
Spike in the back and threw him off the tower. Everyone up to speed? Good.
Opening the gates
Chapter 1: Old Enemies
Four figures stood in the darkened room, standing over a crack in the floor. It was dark out, midnight in fact. The full moon was out, casting eerie shadows across the floor, sending chills up three of the group’s spines. The fourth, however, felt right at home.
“Dude, this place is even creepier than it was before.” Jonathan said nervously.
“Yeah. High school sucked. I swear this place was evil.” Andrew chimed in.
“That’s because it *is* evil. It’s the hell-mouth you idiot.” Warren said impatiently, gesturing to the giant crack.
“What? That crack in the floor? Whatever.” Andrew scoffed.
“The boy is correct. We are standing over the Mouth of Hell. In the old days the Mouth of Hell released unto the world some of the most vicious Hell-beasts and Demons this earth has ever witnessed.” Doc smiled, reminiscing of greater times.
The Trio glanced around at each other nervously as if waiting for something suspenseful to happen like in the movies. But when nothing evil popped out of the hell-mouth, they all sighed in an anticlimactic way.
“Yeah, so why isn’t it releasing anything?” Warren asked.
“Two years ago the Slayer and her friends sealed the mouth of hell so tight, no magic could ever open it again.” Doc said.
“So what are we doing here if it can’t be opened?” Warren asked, feeling rather put out.
“Because. There is another way of opening the hell mouth.” Doc said.
“Well? What is it?” Warren asked impatiently.
“We need a Key.” Doc smiled maliciously.
* * *
“DAWN SUMMERS!” Buffy shouted from the Magic Box’s training room.
Willow, Tara, Xander, Anya and Spike looked up from the research table as Dawn came crashing out of the training room with Buffy hot on her tail.
“Buffy calm down! It isn’t as bad as it sounds!” Dawn said as she got on the opposite side of the table from Buffy, putting her directly behind Spike.
“Not bad?? NOT BAD?? Haven’t you learned anything from Willow?!” Buffy shouted. Willow sunk down in her chair and raised the newspaper she was reading in an attempt to look inconspicuous.
“Luv, calm down. Now what’s this all about?” Spike asked, once again being the mediator between the two sisters. That seemed to be his job nowadays. Well, that and his job at the Magic Box that Anya had reluctantly hired him back at. He had to work a lot of extra hours for what Anya claimed as ‘lost revenue’, because of his unannounced departure.
“She’s been practicing magic!” Buffy said.
“Nibblet? Is that true?”
At that moment Dawn found the floor very intriguing to look at. “Maybe.”
“Oh Dawnie.” Tara exclaimed, looking worried.
“It’s just little stuff! Nothing big or anything.” Dawn defended.
“Nibblet, you should know better.”
“You’re supposed to be on my side!” Dawn glared at Spike.
“That’s it! You are so grounded!” Buffy said.
“Uh, love, she’s still grounded from her trip to Willy’s.” Spike pointed out.
“Oh…well, you’re grounded until you’re twenty!”
“That’s not fair!” Dawn whined.
“Isn’t that a little excessive Buffy?” Xander asked.
“Hey guys…. I think I found something.” Willow said, looking at the front page of the Sunnydale newspaper. “There were some ’vandals’ spotted at the old Sunnydale High School. The library, to be specific.”
“The library? What would ‘vandals’ want with the library? That place is one big pile of ash.” Xander asked.
“Duh, the Hell-mouth.” Dawn said, relieved at the change of subject.
“The Hell-mouth? But we sealed that off. What would anyone want with it?” Buffy asked.
“Maybe lookin’ for a way to open it again.” Spike shrugged.
“Oh. Well that can’t be good.” Buffy said.
“Well… that’s impossible, we sealed the Hell-mouth. There’s no way to open it.” Willow furrowed her brows.
“Well, maybe it was just a group of kids playing pranks.” Xander shrugged.
“My money’s on the Hell-mouth.” Spike mumbled.
“I’ll take you up on that bet.” Xander raised his eyebrows and pointed a finger at Spike challengingly.
“Yeah?” Spike perked up. “Aright, I’m in.”
“Xander, You can’t bet your money! You have to buy me that new vibrator at Lover’s Package.” Anya reminded him.
“An!” Xander turned red.
While the rest of the group looked generally disgusted, especially Dawn, Spike could hardly keep himself from laughing.
“Don’t even think it bleach boy!” Xander shot a warning glare at Spike.
“What? I didn’t say a bloody word.” Spike said, still fighting back a laugh.
“I just know you’re thinking of a way to insult my manhood.” Xander mumbled. Spike finally let loose his laughter.
“Shut up.” Xander buried his face in his hands and rubbed his eyes wearily.
“Don’t worry honey, I like your man-hood. It’s firm in all the right places.” Anya tried to re-assure him.
Xander just groaned and leaned forward, hitting his head on the table repetitively.
Spike was laughing so hard, when he tipped his chair back to put his hands behind his head, he got off balance and fell over, crashing onto the floor.
* * *
In L.A., Angel Investigations
“No, you see Connor, you spray, then FLUFF! Spray...then FLUFF! That's it. It's all in the wrist. Keep your palm cupped and fingers spread....good!" Angel instructed.
Cordy was standing at his side with a teasing comb in hand, trying to tell Connor about the finer points of teasing hair. After of course, they introduced him to the shower and the bottle of shampoo.
“I can’t believe you’re teaching the kid how to do his hair.” Lorne said, leaning from the bathroom doorway. Fred and Gunn were standing beside him with ‘you’ve got to be kidding’ looks on their faces.
“Well, it's good that they're bonding...” Fred suggested.
“I don’t think this is the GOOD kind of Bonding, Chicky.” Lorne said.
Gunn’s eyes widened when he saw Angel take out a can of Aqua Net Spray.
“Someone's gotta go in there and stop this....”
Gunn and Fred looked at Lorne.
“What? Why are you looking at me? Just because I know how to DRESS myself...Why not Fred, she's a girl!” Lorne gestured to Fred desperately.
“And when was the last time you saw ME do my hair?” Fred asked. At the same time Lorne and Fred looked at Gunn with a ‘you do it’ look.
“Don’t look at me! I'm useless in the hair department.”
“Well, I wasn’t gunna *say* anything....” Lorne said off-handedly.
“Yah, why do you think I cut it off? I did the whole Afro thing in the late 80's....talk about TRUE horror, man. Even the Vamps laughed at me...”
Fred patted his shoulder sympathetically.
“Cordy, can you hand me the gel? Cordy?…Cordy?” Angel asked, seeing the spaced-out look on her face.
“Looks like she’s having a vision.” Fred said.
“Is she going to be okay?” Connor watched her curiously.
“Yeah, she does this all the time. She’ll snap out of it in a minute.” Angel said.
“Wow…okay… that was weird…” Cordy said, blinking rapidly to clear her head.
“What did you see?” Angel asked.
“I was in the old Sunnydale library. There were four people talking about opening the Hell-mouth. Three of them looked really familiar….I think I went to High School with them… but the fourth… that guy was *strange*. He was old. As soon as I saw his face, I got this flash back of just before Buffy died. He was walking toward Dawn with a knife in his hand. Then I switched back to the library, and the old guy said something about needing a key to open the Hell-mouth.”
“It’s Dawn. She’s in danger!” Angel said, walking swiftly out of the bathroom with the gang tailing behind him.
“Angel… Angel! Calm down!” Cordelia followed him into his room, while the rest of the group watched from the doorway.
“I have to…”
“…Go back to Sunnydale?” Cordelia finished for him with a raised eyebrow and hand on her hip.
“Yeah.” Angel said, pulling out a duffle back and tossing it on his bed.
“What about Connor?” Cordy reminded him. That stopped Angel in his tracks. He turned to the doorway to see Connor standing there, looking at a loss for what to do, but trying to pretend like he didn’t care.
“Oh, right. Hey, you want to come to Sunnydale with me?” Angel asked him.
“What’s in Sunnydale?”
“The Hell-mouth. And Buffy.” Cordelia supplied.
“And Dawn.” Angel amended.
“Who’s Buffy? Who’s Dawn?”
“She was…” Cordelia started to say, but Angel cut her off.
“…IS the Slayer. Dawn is her younger sister.”
“…His ex-girlfriend.” Cordelia finished.
“The younger sister is your ex-girlfriend?” Connor gave Angel a funny look.
“No, Buffy.” Angel sighed and continued packing his clothes.
A light went off in Lorne’s head, but he didn’t have a chance to say anything.
“Angel, I know this is a new concept for you, but there is a little invention called the Telephone. It’s amazing how you can talk to someone just by picking one up and dialing their phone number.” Cordelia said.
“I have to go back. That guy opened a portal that killed Buffy last time. He’s fully capable of opening the Hell-mouth.” Angel said.
“Yeah, okay, but don’t you think you should call first?” Cordelia said.
“Don’t have time. Why don’t you call while we’re on the road?” Angel said as he zipped up his duffel bag and hefted it onto his shoulder.
“You’re just trying to get out of calling.” Cordelia narrowed her eyes at him.
“You’re right, I am. Come on Connor, let’s go.” Angel said and walked out of the room, Connor tailing behind him.
“I’m coming with!” Lorne ran after them. “Lord knows, their gonna need my help.” He muttered under his breath.
“Arrrgghh!!” Cordelia huffed and walked over to the phone, picking up the receiver to dial the Magic Box.
* * *
Back in Sunnydale
Buffy hung up the phone with a strange look on her face.
“What is it Luv?”
“That was the strangest phone call I’ve ever had.” She said in a dazed-like voice, sitting down next to Spike at the table.
“You okay Buffy?” Willow asked.
“I think so… That was Cordelia…”
“Cordelia??” Xander exclaimed.
“Yeah…. Apparently she had a vision…. And Angel is coming for a visit.”
“Bloody hell, Batman descends from LA to save the bloody day.” Spike rolled his eyes.
“That’s not all…. Angel…. Has a son.”
“WHAT?” Everyone but Anya exclaimed. Anya was too busy counting the money to care.
“Yeah. Long story short: Some evil lawyers work some kind of magic to bring Darla back human, she gets vamped again, some strange Prophecy, Darla and Angel together, Darla gets pregnant, Darla stakes herself to save the baby, Some guy named Holtz out to get Angel, Wesley discovers a prophecy saying that Angel would kill his son, Wesley kidnaps the baby, Holtz gets a hold of the baby and takes him to a hell dimension, Wesley gets his throat cut but survives, Angel tries to get the baby back but can’t, A week later the baby comes back all grown up, tries to kill them but Cordelia has some kind of demon mojo now and took all of the hell-vibes out of him… now they are coming here….did I forget anything?” Buffy said. Everyone was shocked for a moment, but Willow spoke up.
“What’s his name?”
“Connor.”
“What was the vision?” Spike asked. At that Buffy looked up into Spike’s eyes, and then glanced at Dawn, tears threatening to spill.
“Doc.”
* * *
Angel glanced over at Connor in the passenger seat, watching the road signs speed by. Connor hadn’t said a word since they got in the car, and Angel didn’t quite know what to say, so an uncomfortable silence had settled upon them for the past hour. Lorne was in the back seat humming to him self.
“So… uh….wait until you meet Buffy. I think you’ll like her.” Angel tried to start a conversation. Connor just nodded.
“Dawn is about you’re age… so maybe you two can be friends.” Angel said. Lorne held back a chuckle from the back seat.
“What?” Angel asked.
“Oh, nothing.” Lorne said quickly.
“Remind me again why you’re coming along?” Angel asked Lorne.
“Uh, I have some friends in Sunnydale I need to see.” Lorne said.
“Okay…” Angel said, still puzzled, but decided not to ask.
Silence fell over the passengers for another five minutes.
“You’ll get to kill stuff.” Angel told Connor. The boy perked up at this.
“Yeah??” Connor said his first word since getting in the car.
A small, proud smile crept up Angel’s face.
“Yeah.”
* * *
“Uh, love?” Spike walked into the training room where Buffy was currently beating the crap out of the punching bag.
“Love?” Spike called again to get her attention. She took one last kick, sending the bag almost parallel with the ceiling.
“Yeah?”
“Nice kick, pet.” Spike said, genuinely impressed. “You okay?”
“Peachy.” She said, doing combo punch on the bag.
“Right.” He said disbelievingly. “Want to kick my ass?”
“What?”
“You always feel better when you kick my ass. Want to have a go at it?” Spike asked, taking his duster off and tossing it on the couch.
“Sure. Why not.” Buffy shrugged. “It can’t make me feel worse.”
Spike took off his black tee-shirt and shoes, leaving him only in black jeans.
“In fact, it can only make me feel better.” She said, raising her eyebrows.
“Naughty slayer.” Spike waggled his eyebrows. They stood toe to toe for a few seconds, waiting to see who would make the first move: A kick or a kiss.
Buffy chose a kick. Spike easily blocked and came back with a kick of his own, catching her in the side. She went with the momentum and fell to the floor, kicking his legs out from underneath him. He stood back up just as fast as he went down and did a three punch combo, two of which she blocked, but the second one caught her in the ribs.
She flew backward and did a backward summersault, rising to her feet again.
“What do you say we step this up a notch?” Spike asked.
“I’ll go all out if you will.” Buffy replied. Spike grinned and swung at her, using all of his strength.
* * *
“They’ve been in there for almost two hours. I hope Spike is okay.” Dawn said, glancing at the training room doors.
“Yeah, I have to give him points. Going in there after Buffy gets a Glory-sized-bomb-shell-news delivery like Cordy dumped on her…that takes guts.” Xander commented.
“Do you think she’ll stake him?” Dawn asked, worried.
“Who, Angel?” Xander asked hopefully.
“No, Spike.” Dawn rolled her eyes at him.
“Nah. Their’ pretty equally matched. If she tries, he has a 50/50 chance of coming out non-dusty.” Willow answered.
“I think she just needs to work out her anger on the punching bag.” Xander replied.
“Or on each other.” Anya commented. On everyone’s strange look, she continued. “You know what I mean Xander. When one of us gets upset, we always have sex. It always makes me feel better. She just needs to have many orgasms, and then she’ll be okay.”
“Dear God tell me that’s not what they’re doing in there.” Xander muttered.
“Of course that’s what they’re doing in there. Don’t you hear all the grunting? That’s not from taking swings at each other, I’ll tell you what.” Anya said.
“An…” Xander warned.
“What? We all know that hey have sex in there. Their’ probably using the mats….”
“Oh gross… I’m never falling asleep on those again.” Dawn curled up her nose.
“…Like we use the mats Xander.” Anya said. Xander turned beat red when the three girls looked at him with disgusted looks.
“Could my life get any worse??” Xander said and rubbed his eyes wearily.
Just then the bell on the door jingled, announcing a customer. Willow, Tara, Dawn, Anya and Xander looked up to see Angel and the young boy they figured was Connor.
“That was a rhetorical question!!” Xander shouted to the ceiling desperately.
“Uh, hi guys.” Angel said, shooting a confused glance at Xander.
* * *
Back in the training room, Buffy was putting her bra and shirt back on when Spike suddenly looked towards the door and tensed up.
“What?”
“Grandpa is here.” Spike sighed and zipped up his pants
“Don’t call him that… it sounds way too creepy.” She said as she straightened her hair.
“Buffy….do you…. Do you want me to come with?” Spike asked hesitantly. Buffy stopped fidgeting.
“I don’t know… I really don’t know. Oh god, I can’t do this. I don’t want to see him. Tell him to go away.” Buffy said, the panic finally hitting her.
“Luv, you have to talk to him. For the Nibblet’s sake.”
Buffy nodded and swallowed her terror.
“You’re right… I hate it when you do that.”
“No, you love me when I do that.” Spike said and pushed her towards the training room doors.
* * *
“So…. Uh, this is my son Connor. Connor, this is Willow, Tara, Xander, Anya and Dawn.” Angel said, gesturing to each one in turn.
They all made various greetings, and Connor just nodded, looking around the Magic Shop curiously. He walked around looking at all of the objects, and Anya started following him around saying, “Don’t touch that.” Whenever he went to go pick up something.
“So, uh, is Buffy here?” Angel asked the group. Tara looked down at the table, Willow fidgeted nervously, Xander got an evil grin on his face and Dawn suddenly found a book she was reading very interesting.
“Yeah, she’s in the training room with OW!!” Xander yelped as Willow kicked him in the shin.
“…The punching bag.” Xander amended, wincing. Angel looked at him strangely.
Buffy walked out of the training room with Spike not far behind.
“Hi Angel.” Buffy smiled at him
“Spike??” Angel said, surprised.
“Peaches.” Spike said in greeting. Xander started sputtering trying to keep from laughing.
“What?” Angel glared at him.
“Oh nothing. I just know why he really calls you that.” Xander laughed, and Spike chuckled conspiratorially.
“Guys, cut it out.” Buffy said, making a mental note to ask Spike about that later.
“Why is he here?” Angel asked Buffy.
“He is standing right here.” Spike said with a raised hand.
“He’s part of the team.” Buffy told him, taking an empty seat at the round table.
“He is?? Since when?”
“Since Glory.”
“Buffy…”
“It’s not up for discussion Angel.”
Just then Lorne walked into the shop, the doorbell announcing his presence.
“Angel, I booked us into the Sunnydale Inn down the street.” Lorne said, tossing Angel his car keys.
“Thanks. Guys, this is-“ Angel started to introduce Lorne.
“Hey Lorne!” Buffy smiled.
“Hey there honey.” Lorne smiled, and then saw Spike standing behind her. “Billy.” Lorne nodded in greeting.
“Hey Kermit.”
“You guys know each other?” Angel asked confused.
“Yep, I know the whole gang. They came up to Caritas before it burned down.” Lorne said.
“Oh, it’s gone?” Willow asked and Lorne nodded sadly.
“That’s too bad. It was a nice bar.” Willow said sympathetically.
“Thanks sugar.”
“Woah, woah, hold it. Why didn’t you tell me they came to your bar?” Angel asked.
“Well it wasn’t exactly my business to tell you. Besides sweet-cheeks, we have more important issues to deal with.” Lorne reminded him. Angel nodded.
“You’re right. Sorry Buffy…. so…did Cordelia tell you bout the vision?”
“Yeah…she did.” Buffy glanced over at Dawn.
“I think we might need the Watcher on this one pet.” Spike told her. Buffy looked up at Spike.
“I-I don’t want to bother him.” She said, the hurt of his leaving still reverberating in her voice.
“As much as I hate to say it Buffy, I think Spike is right. We need to call Giles.” Angel told her. Buffy glanced around the room and saw the Scooby gang giving nods of agreement. She took a deep breath and walked to the phone, looking at it as if it was going to jump off the wall and bite her. She picked up the phone and Dialed the numbers.
After a few minutes she was connected.
“Hello, Giles?”
* * *
Later that night…
Spike and Buffy were walking through the Graveyard on patrol. They had gone as a group with Angel and Connor, but earlier they had decided to split up so that they would finish quicker. They agreed on meeting back at Buffy’s when they were finished.
“So…. Are you gonna tell him about us?” Spike asked her as they walked through the cemetery.
“I don’t know… He’ll want to stake you, you know.”
“Yeah, but it’ll be funny.”
“It will not!”
“I’m just kidding luv. Besides, it’s not like he can talk. He has a kid.”
“Yeah… that’s just… weird. I still don’t get that.” Buffy said, and Spike nodded in agreement. For a few moments they walked in silence.
“I’ll tell him… I just… you know…. It’s difficult… and weird.”
“Luv, if the Scoobies except us, than Angelus can’t be too hard to convince.” Spike said.
Buffy didn’t say anything after that as they walked through the graveyard.
A little while later they were on their last cemetery and Spike was weaving in and out between the gravestones singing “Beheaded” by Offspring to himself.
“Night brings bad dreams, bad dreams and Guillotines…”
“My god, don’t you know any HAPPY songs?” Buffy asked. Spike stopped and gave her a funny look.
“I’m a *Vampire* luv, haven’t you noticed yet?” He asked patronizingly. “What am I bloody well supposed to sing? “I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts”? ‘Cause, you know…I do.” He waggled his eyebrows at her.
“Anything would be better than that gory song. I mean, really, cutting off your mother’s head? Eww!”
Spike rolled his eyes, then smirked maliciously.
“I’ve got a LOOOOVVEELLY bunch of coconuts! Dedeladeedee! There they are all standing in a row!! Bum, Bum, Bum!!!” Spike sung loudly and wildly off key, adding a bounce in his step for good measure.
Just then Buffy spotted a group of vampires ahead, but they heard Spike singing, and started running.
“Aarrgh!! You did that on purpose!” She shouted at him.
“What? It was *your* request! I know plenty of others….” Spike said and then sang even louder “The suuuuunn’llll come out TO MORROW!! BET’CHER BOTTOM DOLLAAARR THAAT TO MORROOOOWW, THER’LL BE SUUUN!!”
“AAAAARRGGGHH!!” Buffy shouted and stomped off towards her house. Spike grinned wickedly and chased after her, still singing, this time in a fake high-pitched girly voice.
“MY BOYFRIEND’S BACK AND YER GONNA BE IN TROUBLE! HAY NAA, HAY NAAA, MY BOY-FRIEEEENNNND’S BACK!!!”
* * *
Xander, Anya, Willow, Tara, Dawn and Lorne were sitting on Buffy’s living room couch, munching on popcorn and watching TV. Xander tilted his head to the side and looked toward the door.
“What IS that?”
Willow, still munching on popcorn looked up and listened.
“It sounds like singing… really BAD singing.”
“And it’s headed this way.” Xander said, standing up and walking towards the door. Just then Buffy flung open the door, ran in and slammed it behind her.
“QUICK! Get something to block the door! Close all the windows too! Keep him out!!” She shouted as she braced herself against the door.
“What is it? *Another* singing demon?” Xander asked. Willow, Anya and Dawn looked at him pointedly. Lorne just looked amused.
“HEY! This one isn’t *my* fault!” Xander defended.
“FEEEEELIINNGGSSS!!! BLOODY SODDIN’ FEEELLIIIINNNGS!!” Spike was singing loudly outside the door.
“Make it stop!!” Buffy moaned and collapsed against the door. Willow went over to the window, took off her shoe, opened the window and threw it at Spike, bouncing it off his head.
“JOHN JACOB JINGLE HIMER- OOW! What the bloody hell’d you do that for!?”
Willow blushed and shrugged, looking sheepish. “It works with cats on fences.”
Buffy reluctantly let Spike in and he tossed Willow her missing shoe. A silence descended upon the group as they all glanced at each other, then finally they dissolved into a fit of laughter.
Angel and Connor walked up onto the porch and saw everyone practically rolling on the floor laughing….even Spike.
“Uh, did I miss something?” Angel asked as they walked in.