Hiding in plain sight
There he goes again about the whole vampire thing. If he insists on continuing his ranting, I swear I'll have to resort to some really desperate measures to shut him up. No, really I will do it, promise.
This whole case has driven him nuts I think, and I'd never in my life imagined
that one, count it with me only one!, incompetent vampire wannabe
would come that close to blowing my cover. It wasn't even a real one!
I had been prepared for everything, but this surely wasn't among all the worst-case scenarios I'd pictured. No, that wasn't even close.
Alas, guessing from all the rambling I've been forced to listen to during the past hour, give or take a bit, Starsky seems to really have latched onto the whole idea of vampires zealously and who knows what's next. Maybe he'll want to go out hunting for them as well, start traipsing over cemeteries at night and what not. And of course, he'll then want me to go with him. I can see it already how he'll come over at sundown and drag me out to go slaying them.
I have to keep him off track, he can never find out the truth.
And here I am now, doing my best to keep him from just that.
He goes on about how to protect himself, even bought a whole „slaying
kit“ from Huggy with crosses, stakes, holy water and one must not
forget the garlic.
I barely keep myself from laughing out loud at the garlic. That's never worked, just some nonsense idea from some Hollywood writer, probably had something against the stuff. Or he loved it so much that he used metaphorical vampires as an excuse to indulge in it.
I do however keep my distance from the other things as they could become nasty weapons.
And of course I deny that there are such things as vampires, keep telling him he's so gullible and that it's just some moneymaking scam from Huggy for poor unsuspecting customers. Also, I can't let the chance pass to make fun of him for becoming one of these fooled ones himself, just some good natured ribbing among friends.
I think he's really starting to believe it...or not, here he comes again with the stake.
I will myself to keep still at the sight of a stake pointed into my direction, long training winning over ingrained fear responses and instinct. He might not be completely convinced that there are such things as vampires but he definitely believes that I don't think all those vampires he keeps telling me about, and tries defending himself against, are real. I repeat it once more to him for good measure.
It worked and he'll never suspect anything of me.
My secret is safe. I always believed that that the best hiding place is the one in plain sight. And what vampire would willingly become friends with the Slayer?
He'll never find out that the vampires are closer to him than he thought and
that I am one of them. It is the best hiding place, plainer as that