The dance
by Belladonna

It could have been us.

And somehow I catch myself truly wishing it had been. I know I'm happy for him and Terry, but I wish it had been me walking down the aisle towards Starsky instead of her.

We've been mistaken for a couple so many times before. People always got a funny look on their faces when we told them that we're partners, when they didn't recognize us as cops and put a different meaning to the terms partners instead.
We've even been mistaken for an actual couple by a priest once.

And my heart had been missing a beat every time I heard someone saying that we're partners and mean it the other way. Meaning that we might really be a couple.

I would have been so happy and overjoyed to actually be your partner in that way, in every way that counts and not just being your best friend. I love you so much. I know you love me back, just not in the way I'd want you to as well.
Because you love Terry.
I can see it in your eyes, always have known it from the first time you told me about her to the time you've finally introduced me to her. I saw the love in both of your eyes.
And I'd known then, that I'd lost you forever. And somehow I haven't.
You always did include me in your activities and Terry never seemed to mind me tagging along. She loved me as well, just as much as you love me. No more or less.

I remember them standing there in front of the priest earlier, nervous as hell and me standing beside Starsky. Always at his side, having his back and staying close to him. As any best man would do.

Once more I saw how much he loves her. If I ever had had any doubt before, and I never did, I saw all the love he had for her when she walked up towards him, his eyes shining with it, huge smile lighten up his face and how he only had eyes for her. A man so completely in love with somebody else, it hurt. And I saw her looking back with that same emotion. It stabbed me even deeper in the heart and still I smiled for him. For both of them and wished them all the luck in the world.

Now I'm watching you dance with her, your bodies close and fitting so perfectly together in your embrace. I see you talking, smiling. I'm trying to think what you might be talking about. Maybe you're planning your future together, what to do on your honeymoon, kids.
I have to admit, you are beautiful together, shining with life and love. You look perfect. And I wish it could have been me, making you so happy.

I know Terry will be a perfect wife for you and you deserve only the best. She's a lucky woman to have gotten you as her husband, she really loves you. You're a very lucky man yourself.

I'm standing at the sidelines, far from all the dancing couples. Alone. Just an outsider looking in. I'm downing another drink and admire you two together from afar. I just watch. I can see your love and can't help myself wishing once more that it'd be me you looked at this way, held in your arms tenderly while gliding over the dancefloor, close to you.

That it'd be me you'd love in every way that is possible just as I do with you.

~/~

I gather all my courage and walk over to them dancing in the middle of the dancefloor. I smile as I tap her softly on the shoulder.

„May I cut in?“

They both look at me, Starsky's ready to let me take over for one dance with his wife. Instead Terry smiles at me with a knowing smile and steps aside.

„Of course.“