Disclaimer: This is a work of fan-fiction. The here fore used characters belong rightfully to Marvel and I just borrowed them. The only profit I hope to achieve with this is the pure pleasure of the reader, so no copyright infringement intended. Please do not sue me, I don’t have money and won’t be getting some from this story.
Most dialogue is from X-Men #41 and not from me.
Author’s notes: This story is part of my Tale of two lovers and can be seen concerning comic book continuity directly before the kiss of Rogue and Remy in Israel, just before all realities were shattered by the M’Kraan crystal. The story changes between the storytelling and the thoughts of a person.
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Waiting for the sky to fall
The sky above them was black and the stars glittering like diamonds in front of the dark velvety cloak of night. A slightly cold breeze of nocturnal air swept through the hair of all those who were standing in this particular night in the deserts of Israel and were looking at the sky. They all were waiting, waiting for the things that might come and for what was about to happen if these things had come. They were all aware of the fact that something huge was due to happen, they all knew about the fact that they could possibly die this very night. But none of them could have known at this point what kind of event it might be, all what they knew was that it would change all of their lives, probably for ever.
A bit aside from the others were two people, they both were also aware of the fact that this night should be the last they would be together this very moment like they were now and that it would be never again like this tomorrow, if there even was a tomorrow, that everything would never be the same.
Rogue sat on a small rock that had found his home in the desert sand long ago, her knees drawn to her chest and her arms pulled around them. The pale moonlight gave the distinctive white streak that ran through her dark hair a silvery shimmer and the silent winds of this night got caught in her long brown curls, the glance of her deep green eyes lost in the night the way her thoughts have lost themselves a while ago. That what was due to come wouldn’t leave her alone, the uncertainty of what would be after that kept her under its spell. As much as she wanted to, she couldn’t banish the thoughts of a possible end from her mind, not of an end like this and now.
I cannot do it, as much as I want or wish for but I can’t. I so much want to tell myself that it doesn’t matter a thing and that it would be the same tomorrow like it was yesterday but I know very well that this would be nothing but a lie. It probably will never be like before and the others know that too. But none of them really knows what exactly will happen, just how much it will influence us and what will be afterwards.
I see the others now, they use these final moments together, just as if they knew, if they truly knew that everything would come to an end. I can feel it well, for I feel it myself that after this night nothing will be like it used to be, nothing will be like it was before. For no one of us. Will we all die tonight? I don’t know but I do have this feeling nonetheless that I have to do or to say certain things I should have done or said before…
Even if none of us truly believes or admits it, their actions speak for themselves. They all show themselves their feelings, their deep felt emotions they have for each other. They all are afraid that it might be already too late and to be honest I fear that, too. I don’t want to admit it to myself but it is so. I see these gentle touches of the others, their embraces and all these small gestures are saying so much more than words could ever accomplish.
It is these simple small things that let the other know just how much he means to oneself, how deep the friendship or even the love for him goes.
I know that Remy is standing right next to me and I am glad for this, for now it is not so hard for me to face the unknown. If he wouldn’t be here with me I wouldn’t know whether I’d had the strength to confront this uncertainty, the simple knowledge that I am not alone gives me the power to see the future, it has always made me stronger and brought me forward. I am certain that his love has made me strong and the feelings I have for him are my proof if this. Without him I wouldn’t know what to do, especially not now.
From the very first beginning, when I first looked into his eyes I knew that he was the man of my dreams, the one I have always dreamt of and the one I’ve been looking for, for my whole life and then he had finally found me.
I know as if it was only yesterday, that my heart beat so hard it would have jumped right out of my chest the moment I stood right in front of him for the first time and it still does when he is near me. Here in him I have found the man I truly love from the bottom of my heart and who loves me equally deep the way I am and it does not matter to him that we probably can never be truly near for my powers would separate us then for ever.
It hurts me sometimes really deep in my heart that I cannot be near to him as near as I wished for to be but then I realize that I already am closer to him than I can imagine. My love for him enables me to touch him deeper than any touch of my bare hands could accomplish just like his love for me has done the same to m. He hit me in the middle of my heart and I cannot imagine life without him. Would I be without him then I’d die and I can feel the pain in my chest when we can not be together. But I so much want to show him just how deep my feelings are for him and I could not bear it if now I will never get the chance to do this, I so much want to make it clear to him how deep he touched my hart even without our skin ever touching. If I only could make it clear to him how much I love him so that I know that he understands it too.
Rogue’s thoughts were far away from the place she sat right now, all that she noticed consciously was that she was not alone for the man she loved more than anything else was with her and that gave her a reassuring feeling. She didn’t know just for how long she only had sat there in his presence that made her heart beat faster before his voice pulled her out of her thoughts.
“Kinda sad, isn’t it, Rogue?”
“What, Remy…?” Rogue didn’t know exactly what he meant with this, she hadn’t had been paying attention to the world outside her thoughts for the past minutes - has it truly only been minutes or even more?- and a silent numb feeling spread out within her. The end would be here soon, for that she was certain that it would be an end even if she didn’t know what kind of end would await them. But it didn’t matter to her, as long as he would be there with her it would not be that hard.
“Lilandra’s bein’ just a holographic projection. The professor an’ her can watch what’s comin’--together…, Remy’s voice faltered shortly before he continued speaking. He also was too clear about what would be coming, that the world like they knew it could possibly no longer exist after this night and he too didn’t want that to happen without that he had been able before to tell his love Rogue how deep his feelings for her really went, “…but they can’t even touch – or hold – each other.”
Remy took the cigarette he’d been holding in his hand into his mouth and lit up a match with that he wanted to light up the cigarette. He didn’t want to die, of that he was sure and who wanted to die anyway, but that was it he was sure that would happen. He didn’t want to die without that he could be sure of that she knew it. He loved her more than his life and he had never told her that, he wasn’t able to tell her, it didn’t matter because of what reasons but he simply couldn’t do it, bring these three simple words over his lips. And now it could probably be already too late, for this and for everything. And that pained him deeper than he could imagine that it would be. He didn’t want to die before he told her that he really loved her.
“Jus’ thought that was sad, is all”, he added to this and inhaled the smoke of his cigarette. He inhaled it deeply just like he inhaled unnoticed her scent with it, her perfume she always wore, the one he had given her for her last birthday, her favourite. These were the things he wanted to memorize in his mind forever before…
Rogue didn’t answer him to this, she felt a deep sadness in her soul, in her heart and that was an emptiness she’d never experienced before. It gave her a sting that went deeper than anything before, even more than her inability to touch others. With nobody else before it hurt her more not to be able to touch him like with Remy right this moment. She also had heard out the pain in his voice when he spoke to her, the underlying tone of pain she could feel for so well. Nobody else understood better than her what it meant to be close to the person you loved and in the same moment farther away than it could be possible. Rogue loved Remy, more than she loved anybody else in her whole life or would ever love again and when she shouldn’t get the chance to be happy with him then she wanted it to be for this single moment. Just one moment of happiness, was that too much to ask for? She rose, the smell of his cigarette and just the fact of being so close to Remy made her heart beat even more faster. She could feel her excitement and inner strain rising when she got closer to him. Her gloved hands took his and she turned him to face her.
“Remy, toss the cigarette away…”, Rogue began and looked him deep in the eyes. She knew exactly that he felt the way she did, she could read it clearly in his eyes just like he could read it in hers. She’d made a decision and it was a decision that came right from the bottom of her heart. She wanted to spend the little time that was left with the man that meant more to her than her life and she wanted to be as close to him as possible. “…an’ please come closer to me…”
Remy put his arms around her and pulled her near to him, careful not to risk any contact with her bare skin. Tenderly he ran his fingers through her hair and just held her, held her close to him, the woman he loved and gave her a feeling of security and warmth, of the love he couldn’t express with words. He couldn’t do it, he couldn’t tell her even now. It were these three simple words and he couldn’t manage to get them over his lips. But that didn’t matter now, Rogue knew that he loved her even without he had to say it. Remy pulled her to himself so close he could manage and she cradled herself in his arms, two lovers that were as close as they could be though they could never be really unified even if their hearts were one in their love.
Rogue could feel his love, his heartbeat as fast as hers, she could feel that through her clothes and his breath was warm on her cheeks She felt how her eyes filled with tears that shouldn’t be shed, not in this moment. If that should be the last moments she would have in her life, they were moments she would spent with the man she loved and who had the same strong feelings for her. It would be tears of joy, for she was united with him in mind as well as in their hearts as it would be tears of pain and sorrow as well, the mourning of a future she wouldn’t have, that she wouldn’t have with him and that made a great loneliness and pain spread out within her. Rogue knew that and Remy knew that too. But it was their moment, a moment full of joy and happiness, the highest joy one could imagine and for both lovers it was so much more. Their simple embrace let them know how much they truly meant to each other, how deep their feelings were, this simple gesture showed that their relationship went deeper than anyone could ever imagine.
In the distance the wave of the M’Kraan crystal made its way towards earth and over the deserts. All that it passed remained frozen in a fine crystalline glass, delicate and easily shattered.
Rogue looked up and Remy too could see it in the distance clearly. They both knew what was coming and what it meant for them. They knew that this would be the last moment, they would spend together, their last. Both were not afraid of that what awaited them, they were together, finally united and that was the only thing that mattered to them. But there were so many things left undone, things left unsaid and these were things they both regretted not have done or said, especially when it concerned the other one, their loved one.
“Remy…” Rogue looked up with wide eyes at the fast advancing wave, there would only be seconds left for her and all that was in her mind was the man, who held her close in his arms. She didn’t think about her own life, for this there was no time left, she thought of the moment of their first encounter, of her first meeting with him, their first date and all the other things that brought him close to her, close to her heart. It all were happy thoughts and those were the ones she would cherish, treasure them deep within her heart for they were her life, her life with him. And there was only one thing left she wanted to do, one thing that had to be done and she knew that afterwards there would be no possibility to do it, never again. This was the moment that should truly belong to them, to them alone, alone to the hearts of two lovers.
Rogue turned around and looked up to Remy. Her eyes shone full with love and emitted so much warmth and compassion like she could see in his. Both of them knew that there would be no second chance, no other moment like this, never again and this moment that had been given to them now, they wanted to use to show their love for each other, their deep emotions. Both knew that they couldn’t let it end without that this moment would be truly theirs and when they should die, then they would do it together, united. Remy wanted to say something but Rogue didn’t let him. She’d made her decision and wanted to spend the last moments on the only thing she’d left to do.
“Shh…Close your eyes”, Rogue said silently and closed a gloved finger over his lips, ran her fingers tenderly down his face. Remy obeyed without hesitation, he trusted her completely and he too wanted to spend this moment with her, with the woman he loved and who meant more to him than anything or anybody else. Rogue came closer to him and pulled him towards her, she put her arms around him and the moment their lips met, they truly were united in body and soul, their hearts were one and they were closer than they never had been before or would ever be again.
Both of them lost themselves in a passionate soft kiss and a close tender embrace while they were waiting for the sky to fall.