Disclaimer: This is a work of fan-fiction. The here fore used characters belong rightfully to Marvel and I just borrowed them. The only profit I hope to achieve with this is the pure pleasure of the reader, so no copyright infringement intended. Please do not sue me, I don’t have money and won’t be getting some from this story.
Most dialogue is from X-Men #41 and not from me.
Author’s notes: The story changes in storytelling between the story and the thoughts of one person. Concerning the continuity of where to put this one, it is set right before the kiss, Rogue and Remy shared in Israel before the M’Kraan crystal shattered all realities. It is the companion piece to “Waiting for the sky to fall”.
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Before the dawn
The winds were blowing over the desert and pushed small clouds of desert sand up to fly away. But it wasn’t them that the man named Remy LeBeau was watching but more likely the woman that was sitting on a small rock in the middle of this desert. She was lost in thoughts and these thoughts seemed to be so far away he asked himself just how far they truly were. He couldn’t act differently but to loose himself in her beauty, she was the woman his heart belonged to and who had taken it with her on the first time he’d met her. She had it been who had managed to steal a thief, the best thief there was, something, but Remy had given it to her willingly. She’d taken his heart away with her compassion and love, her beauty. He had lost himself in her deep green eyes, that had looked at him with so much warmth and innocence, so full of love and his heart was beating only for her since this moment. For her he did anything and gave his life if it would be necessary to save hers. In Rogue he’d found the one, the one who meant more to him than he had ever imagined and he couldn’t think what it would be like without her, what would be if he’d loose her or could not be with her.
They had had all opportunities for them and life was open for them. The future belonged only to them and Remy had had a clear image of how this future would look like.
Now they were standing in the desert and were waiting for something to happen, something they didn’t even know what exactly it would be and how it would change their lives. All they knew was that it would change their lives, change it thoroughly, no matter how it would end here.
He sighed silently and glanced over the dunes of the desert. In the distance he saw the others, how they prepared for this moment and he wondered what would be in their minds right now. How did one prepare for the unknown, for a possible ending? He had no answer to that just like he had no answer for the other questions that plagued his soul. He asked himself if there was something the others would regret in their lives, a missed chance of repentance or even the possible accomplishment of their dreams and goals that they now would never get.
Remy knew exactly what went on in his mind, he too had things he regretted now not having had the chance to do or to change them. He too had had dreams he now saw fleeing, disappearing in the distance just like the wind of the desert took the dust beneath his feet away with it. But the thing he even more regretted, more than anything else, were all this missed opportunities that were so heavy on his soul and that were only about the one woman of his life.
I know exactly that this night everything will end, everything we knew will end tonight, even before the dawn of a new morning nothing will be like it was, I can feel that and I know that the others feel the same. And even if all the others have accepted this, it still hurts me deep in my heart. All the things I have shoved away, dismissed them are now lying heavily on my soul and especially on my heart. And why? Because I’ve found her.
I’ve found somebody who is important to me, more important than anything before in my life, somebody who even is my life.
Ma chère Rogue is the only woman I feel for this way and I love her from the depths of my heart. I’d never thought that possible but then I’ve found her and everything has changed. Her lovely eyes caught me from the first time I looked into her eyes, the first glance she threw at me and they hold me even until today. She is the most gentle woman I’ve ever met, so full of warmth and love, a love that is only for me and whose heart only beats for me like mine will always beat for her. I don’t know whether I even deserve such a woman but tonight I am glad that she is at my side. I couldn’t stand it, would she not be here with me, it always tears my heart apart when we are separated. I love her so much that it hurts sometimes.
She might believe that it is important, a simple touch, but I know it better. A love goes much deeper when it is not dependant of such unimportant gestures. Touch is important but it alone does not make a relationship or even a love. It is more the emotions and feelings that give a love its depths and create this strong bond that is between two lovers.
I know it for between us there is such a strong bond and as much as I want to touch her, to feel the soft gentleness of her skin under my fingertips I can touch her a whole different way, a far more deeper way just like she has touched me deep within. We may never have physical contact but we are closer bonded together than others could be.
Now we are in the desert and don’t know what is coming towards us but I am confident for we are together. I am here with my one and true love Rogue, united and this is the only thing that counts for me.
In a distance I can see the Professor talking to a hologram of his love Lilandra. He and his love are separated through light years and still they have managed to hold onto their love and deepen it, show it to each other even if they too won’t be able to be united, possibly never.
It is sad that in this hour, maybe the final hour she and him cannot be together like me and Rogue are.
“Kinda sad, isn’t it, Rogue?” I say and I don’t even know what I meant with this. She is confused, I must’ve caught her out of her thoughts.
“Lilandra’s bein’ just a holographic projection. The professor an’ her can watch what’ comin’--together…” I hesitate, unsure of how to continue and especially unsure of what I truly want to say, “…but they can’t even touch – or hold – each other.”
She glances at me and I can see it from her look that she understands it, maybe understands it better than anybody else. And I myself am not so sure who I’ve really meant but that is only clear now to me as the words have left my lips. But at least we are united, Rogue and I, she is really with me but still there are so many things I am still not able to tell or do. I know that I love her more than anything else in the world and still I cannot tell her. I can’t get it over my lips. Despite everything, I will never feel for another woman what I feel for her, I know that and about that nothing will ever change a thing, or nobody.
Rogue’s still watching me, she has stood up and is standing in front of me. She doesn’t need to say it for I know already but she still says it. I take her in my arms and hold her close to me. I simply hold her and this is the only thing she needs. To be held and I must admit that I needed that too. I needed to hold onto her and this way, we can show each other what we feel.
We simply stand there, in the middle of the desert beneath the moon and the stars that glitter above us and I hold her close to my heart.
I can feel her breath, feel how it touches my cheeks ever so gently and I feel her heart beating. Her heart beats fast, she is excited and somewhat concerned. I am too, nervous but not because of the things to come but it is more because I am afraid. I am afraid to loose her before I have ever had the chance to have truly had her and that is something I could not bear.
Rogue is the only woman that means something to me, really ever meant something to me or will mean. She means more to me than she or I can possibly imagine. I’d die if I’d lost her now, no matter whether the world comes down or not, the only thing I really want is to be together with her, to be with her. I hold her close to me, my arms around her body and I will never let her go. If it was for me, then this moment would never end, but I know that it will. But for this moment a dream has come true, has become reality. We are together now, truly and we will be forever, until the end of days.
In the end, none of them knew how long they simply stood there, in this deep embrace and truly one, not only in their minds but also in their hearts.
Rogue looked up and could see in the distance already the glassy wave of the M’Kraan crystal that was rolling over the deserts and would reach them in an instant.
In this moment she’d realized the wave she’d realized what it truly meant for them and she had made her decision. In this final moment she wanted to be really united with Remy, this final moment she wanted to spend with the man, she loved and she wanted to show him this love, to be for the first and last time united with him. Remy too looked up and realized what it meant if the wave would hit them. He had only one last thing to say, to say only to her and truly mean it for the first time in his life and that was it he wanted to do before the crystallisation wave would hit them and shatter everything with it. He opened his mouth to speak but Rogue closed her gloved fingers over his lips.
“Shh…Close your eyes”, she said and had made her decision with this. She loved him with her whole heart and that was it she wanted to show him with this, this should be her last memory she wanted to take from him, cherish and treasure for ever. She put her arms around him and pulled him towards her.
I have so much I want to tell her, I too have seen this wave that is coming towards us and I know what it will mean, what it will mean for us. There is so much I want to tell her, so much for what there is no more the time to do, but for all I want to, is to tell her one single time, how much she truly means to me, how deep she has touched me and how I feel about her.
I want to tell her, that I love her.
That I love her deep from my heart and this time it is honestly meant, this I have now realized.
She has something else in mind, for she closes my lips before I have the chance to speak and with that my final chance to reveal my true feelings for her. I had wanted to tell her that I loved her, to the one woman I ever meant it honestly. With her fingers over my lips I have lost the chance to tell her before the end, how much she has changed my life and that she has become my life. I know that she knows that already but I want to tell it to her. I want to tell her that it is not important that she cannot touch me, that it is not important to me for only her honest feelings matter to me.
“Close your eyes”, she says and I trust her. This is my last gift to her, I truly trust her now. How could I not trust the woman I love and I really do it now. I don’t know what she wants to do but as long as we are together, I know that I won’t face the unknown alone, that will have reached us in a few seconds. I close my eyes and her perfume is even more intensive than before. It is her favourite and I feel my inner excitement rising. I love the fragrance of her perfume, her hair and I can feel her breath on my cheeks. In this moment I am possibly closer to her than I have ever been before and this moment is one I will keep close to my heart as if it was my greatest treasure. And that is it what it is.
But I am not prepared for the moment when her lips meet mine.
They are so soft and gentle but the same time strong and full of intensity, full of her love. I know what this means, what it means for us and this moment is even more valuable to me than anything else I had thought important before. This kiss, of which I know that it will be the only one ever for us, is the most valuable thing I’ll ever possess. In this moment I am probably the most happy man of the world and the most sad one. This moment will be our last and I know that just like she knew that too. But I will never forget the feeling of her lips on mine, her soft skin as we touched for the first and last time. I will never forget this moment, no matter what will happen now.
Their kiss was long and passionate and united the two lovers truly and finally just like they’d always wanted to. None of them wanted to let it end without showing their true feelings for the other, none of them could let it end without that they knew to have said and done everything and this was their final moment they wanted to spend together before the dawn of the morning would change everything and nothing they knew would ever be the way as it had been.