Disclaimer: This is a work of fan-fiction. The here fore used characters belong rightfully to Marvel and I just borrowed them. The only profit I hope to achieve with this is the pure pleasure of the reader, so no copyright infringement intended. Please do not sue me, I don’t have money and won’t be getting some from this story.
Author’s notes: This fiction is a sequel to my story 'Don’t walk away' and part of the Study in Romance storyline. The change in font marks the change in the speaker this time as well. This time it’s Logan’s turn.
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Prisoner of your eyes
Logan was gone, he had left the mansion. Despite the circumstances a small smirk danced around his lips as he thought on whose bike he had left it. If he had lost Jean to him, at least he should have gotten the bike for it. But it didn’t comfort him over having Jean lost before he even had had a chance of holding her.
It was true that he loved her deeply, more than everything in the world and he had well felt her hesitation when she’d given him to understand that she had made her decision for Scott. Logan didn’t give in to the hope there could ever be more between them than friendship, no matter how hard he wished for a change in that, he feared to see this hope destroyed and that would hurt him even more than it did already hurt. She would never be able to love him the way he loved her, not as long as he stood between them.
But Logan also knew that she was in conflict with her emotions, that she wasn’t so sure of her feelings anymore. Logan had so hoped she could tell him what she really felt for him, if it was indeed more than he could ever hope or wish for, but she remained silent, even as he left. For the others he left because of his search for his past, because he still had something to settle and it was good that way for it was exactly what he wanted them to believe. It did pain him enough without telling them why he truly left, because of her. It was more than he could bear when he would stay, so he had to go. She couldn’t tell him her true feelings and that made it very clear, that she would never belong to him, could never belong to him.
But he would always belong to her; as long as he lived he was hers, his heart would only beat for her.
I have to get away from here, I cannot stay any longer and see them together. Oh, I thought it would be only half that painful when I see her happy, but that was a lie. I have made a mistake for it is even more painful for me to see her happy, because she is happy with him. I go to make it for myself and her easier, she would never be able to confess her love for me, if she ever feels anything like love for me, will be able to feel love for me. I know that she isn’t that sure of her feelings for me like she wants to be, that gives me a little hope though, but there are no doubts about that she has chosen him and not me.
Has she really or does she want to make herself believe exactly that and I am making the biggest mistake of my life when I go now?
I’ve felt it, her hesitation before her answer, that we would never be able to be together but then she has never really said that. She has never said that there wasn’t a chance for us. I feel her now as I go, feel her glare rest on me but again she says nothing. She remains silent. Can she not tell it or does she not want to tell it, or is she simply afraid of telling it to me, telling anything to me? I know, that she is able to read my feelings for her, that she knows that I will always love her, for ever and I envy her for that, for that knowledge is one I will never have concerning her feelings for me. I will never be able to find out what she really feels for me as long as she won’t tell it to me.
What is left for me is the uncertainty and the pain, that can make love so unbearable at some times. All that I know is that I will always belong to her. My heart is held prisoner in her eyes, in the deep green that is so full of warmth and love and I wished so hard, that this love will one day be for me.
When I close my eyes, I see her face clearly in front of me, her tender smile, the gentle face and the loving eyes that caught me the first time I saw them and have never let me away since then. When I open them again I wished so much for that she would still be there, with me and I wished so hard for that this day one day will become reality, when she will really be still there when I open my eyes again.
I don’t know whether you can hear me or not, but I will wait for you Jean, no matter how long it might take or if you can ever return my feelings for you. I will always stay a prisoner of your beautiful loving eyes and my heart belongs to you for ever, no matter how you might finally decide.
I will always love you, Jean.