Chapter 6

Once they were back downstairs, Buffy picked up the leather book she’d been carrying around all night, and turned to a well-worn page. She handed the book to Spike, and told him to read the passage on that page.

“Well, that certainly sounds cryptic enough to have come from a watcher’s diary.”

“That’s exactly where it came from. That’s the prophecy that Willow found that night. I’ve never really been good at deciphering those things. I always just depended on Giles to do that and then give me the Buffy-verse version.”

“Seeing how it’s a little late even for me to de-code a cryptic watcher prophecy, why don’t you give me the “Buffy-verse version?” Spike inquired.

“Basically, Willow and Giles said that it made references to the slayer in the new millennium, who would die twice and be loved by two vampires of the same family. Obviously that’s me. It also said something about a true love, and how with my second death a part of that true love would die along with me.” She noticed that Spike’s eyes were starting to tear up, and she figured that he was remembering the night that she dove off the tower to defeat Glory. She reached out and took his hand in hers, lacing their fingers together and Spike looked at her, a little amazed at this tender gesture. She continued.

“Apparently when they did the spell to bring me back, we were so linked that it “brought back” the part of you that died with me, and made you *whole * again, without totally restoring your humanity. Does that make sense? Some mystical force linked us together, then, and since we completed each other, we were able to have children together. I know this is all very confusing...”

Spike looked into her eyes, amazed at her interpretation of the words he’d just read. He knew she was telling the truth, but her version of what the prophecy meant had so much more love and emotion in it than he ever imagined any watcher would have read into their works. Suddenly, he said “It’s called love, Buffy.”

“What is?” She asked, a little confused.

“The mystical force, as you called it, that bound us together. It’s love. I always tried to tell you that I loved you, Buffy.”

“Yeah, I guess it is- er, was” she corrected, then frowned. He noted the frown and a questioning look appeared on his face. “You said loved- past tense. You don’t still love me, do you Spike?”

“What? Of course I do Buffy! I could never, ever stop loving you.” He reached out to embrace her, a little unsure if she’d let him. He sighed in relief when she did. “Don’t you remember me telling you that you’re in my blood, that I was drowning in you? I still am. I always will be. I never, ever stopped loving you Buffy Summers.”

“Sinclair” she corrected.

He pulled back, and looked at her. “What?”

“My last name now. Is Sinclair.”

“That was my last name.” He stuttered, as realization hit him.

“I know.”

“Why? How?”

She smiled at him, and leafed through the next few pages of the book. “Here. It’s all in here, Spike. Everything you need to know about the last five years is in this book. Although I’d much rather tell you about it than just have you read it all.”

Spike skimmed the pages, and saw copies of legal documents, most of which he didn’t take the time to read, other than to notice that they were apparently used to change Buffy’s name on all of her bank accounts, drivers license, deed to the house, and other important accounts. He looked at her, still confused, and said “Buffy, I don’t really understand…”

“Ok.” She smiled. “Time for more of the story, I suppose.”

+ + + + + + + + + +

late May, 2002

Xander walked into the kitchen at Buffy’s house, to find a very worried-looking Willow sitting at the counter, nursing a cup of lukewarm coffee. “She still not coming down?” he asked quietly.

“No, and Xander- I’m really, really starting to worry about her.” Xander poured a cup of coffee and joined Willow while she continued, trying not to ramble. “She’s been like this since she found out Spike left. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve tried everything. Telling her we’d find him someway, or that I was sure he was coming back, I’ve even tried telling her that what she’s doing isn’t healthy for the baby. But nothing works. She just stays up there, laying in her bed and crying. We’re lucky if we can even get her to eat the food we take up to her. What are we going to do, Xander, what?”

“I don’t know, Will. I just don’t know.”

“What don’t you know, Xander?”

The two scoobies were shocked to hear Buffy’s quiet voice from the doorway. “Uh, we were just talking about Anya. I just don’t know how to get her to hear me out.” Xander lied.

“Oh.” Buffy replied. “Uh, I have an appointment with Dr. Birch today. Can one of you drive me? I just don’t feel like going alone.”

“Sure, Buffy!” Willow said, trying to sound cheery. “We don’t really have any plans today so we can both go with you… maybe grab some lunch while we’re out.”

“Yeah, ok. Well, I’m going to go get dressed then.” With that Buffy walked out of the kitchen and back upstairs.

“That’s good, right? That she wants to go out this afternoon… even if it is to go to the doctor?” Willow started. She was interrupted by Buffy running back into the kitchen.

“Willow! Xander! It’s…you’ve… oh! Come here… feel this!” Buffy shouted as she grabbed their hands and placed them on her round stomach.

“Buffy! The baby’s moving and kicking!”

 

“I know! It’s never done this before. This is….wow….Ok. I have to hurry and get ready for the doctor. I have to make sure everything’s alright.” Buffy rushed back upstairs and they could hear her hurrying to get ready.

The three friends walked into Dr. Birch’s office, and Buffy signed in for her appointment. When the nurse called Buffy back, she asked if her friends would like to come with her. Xander paled, and said he thought he’d just be supportive from the waiting room. Willow grinned, and agreed to go with Buffy.

Once inside the little exam room, the nurse looked over Buffy’s chart. “Ms. Summers, you’re scheduled for another ultrasound today. So we’ll be taking another picture of your baby today. Would you like for us to video it?”

“You can do that?”

“We sure can. I’ll just go and get a tape and have it set up for when we do the procedure. Also, I need to know if you want to know the sex of the baby, providing we can tell.”

“Yes, I’d like to know.”

“Ok then. You just sit back and relax. Dr. Birch will be in shortly.”

Buffy sat back on the exam table, and Willow noticed that Buffy’s eyes were clouding up with tears. Buffy looked over at Willow, and said, “I can’t believe he’s gone, that he’s missing all of this.”

“I know, Buffy. But you’re getting a tape of the ultrasound today, so he can see it when he gets back. And we have all of the information from the prophecy, so you’ll have that to show him so he’ll know that you’re telling him the truth. It will all work out Buffy.”

“Do you think he would have stayed if I’d told him I was pregnant that night at the Magic Box?”

“I don’t know Buffy. But I do believe that he loves you. And I know he’d do anything in his power to protect you.”

Dr. Birch walked in just then, a little worried to see the tears on Buffy’s face. “Buffy, are you alright? Nothing’s wrong, is it?”

“No. Just hormones, I guess. I could feel the baby moving this morning.”

“Well, that’s good, Buffy. Let’s get started on this sonogram, now, shall we?”

Dr. Birch set up the ultrasound machine and started the procedure. Buffy smiled as she heard the sound of her baby’s strong, rapid heartbeat fill the room. The doctor turned the monitor toward Buffy and Willow, and pointed out to them where the baby was on the screen. Buffy and Willow ooh’d and ahh’d over the little image on the screen, and Buffy was totally lost in the moment of seeing her baby on the little screen and hearing its heartbeat when the doctor said “Do you want to know the sex? We can tell today.. the baby is turned the right way.”

“Oh, yes, please. I want to know.”

“Well, Buffy,” she started as she pointed to the baby on the monitor, “you’re going to have a little girl.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

A few days later, at the Magic Box

Buffy sat, staring at the newest sonogram picture of her daughter. Her daughter. She could hardly believe it… it was all so real to her now. * I have to snap out of this depression *  Buffy thought. * It can’t be good for the baby, and I have to do everything that is best for her *  “Will, I’ve been thinking about something.”

“What’s that, Buffy?”

“Now, don’t get all wiggy on me when I tell you this. But, this baby…this little girl, is Spike’s, and I was just thinking… do we even know what Spike’s real last name was? I mean, I want her to be connected to him as much as she can, you know? And I was just thinking that she should maybe have his name.”

“Are you sure, Buffy? Because you know that the only way to do that is to change yours. When she’s born she has to have the same name as you.”
 

“I know. I mean, I think I’m ok to change my name. I just think it would be good for her, to have some connection to her father. Since I don’t know when or if he’s coming back.” Buffy got a faraway look in her eyes, wondering just where Spike had gone and what he was doing, and if he ever thought of her.

“Well, if you’re sure Buffy, I can do some research. I’m sure that with all of the information on Spike that we have in Giles’s books, I should be able to trace down his human family, to find out what his last name was. But you know- there’s probably a much easier way. I mean, I’m sure Angel knows his history…”

“NO!”  Buffy said before realizing how harsh she’d sounded. “I just don’t want to bother him with this. We’re sort of trying to stay out of each other’s way, you know?”

“I know. Like I said, I’ll do the research. It’ll be good…give me something to do. I’ve been a little bored lately with the lack of Hellmouth research and activity” Willow grinned.

She immediately plugged in her laptop and started plundering through the books on vampire histories that Giles left behind. It didn’t take her very long to track down the information on Spike’s human family. He’d been so notorious as a vampire that it was relatively easy to track his history. She found information on some genealogy sites that had basic information about his whole family, his parents’ names and even his siblings. She rushed into the training room, finding Buffy on the floor doing some yoga stretches that her doctor had recommended. “I found it, Buffy! I found it! Did you know Spike had a little sister?”

+ + + + + + + + +

“So” Buffy told Spike “I decided that I wanted our baby to have your name, so Willow found out what it was, and I changed my name so that when Maggie was born she’d really be a Sinclair.”

Spike didn’t know what to say. He was shocked. “I just can’t believe you did that Buffy.”

“You’re not upset that I did, are you? Oh, I never even stopped to think that you might have a problem with it, I just thought that it would be better for Maggie, and it would make me feel a little more connected to you while you were gone, and…”

“Buffy, no. I’m not the least bit upset. I just can’t believe that you wanted our baby to be connected to me in any way, after I left like I did. You have no idea what that means to me.”

She smiled at him, sighing with relief that he was ok with what she’d done. “I named her after your little sister, you know. When Willow told me that you’d had a little sister named Margaret, I knew right away that it was the perfect name for our little girl. So I named her after your sister and gave her my middle name.”

Spike swallowed the uncharacteristic knot that had formed in his throat again. “Thank you Buffy. I loved her, so much. And when I was turned, I couldn’t stand to see how it affected her. Of course, Mum didn’t tell her that I had been turned, just that I’d died, and she was so sad. She was the most precious child I had ever met. Maggie carries her name well.” He looked at Buffy and smiled- a real, genuine smile that reached his eyes, and she could tell that he had accepted that she was telling the truth.

Spike noticed how late it was, and even though she wouldn’t admit it, he could see how tired Buffy was. “Love, it’s late. I should probably get going. You need your rest.”

”But Spike, there’s so much more I want to tell you. Don’t go.”

“I’ll come back, Love, I promise. Tomorrow if you want. I have some things I need to tell you, too.”

“Ok.” Buffy said, as she followed him to the door. “Tomorrow night. You’ll come back, and we’ll do some more catching up. Come over before dinner, if you want, and you can spend some time with Maggie.”

“That sounds like a plan, Love.” Spike turned to leave, but then turned back suddenly, placing a kiss on Buffy’s forehead. “I love you.” He said, then turned and walked down the front steps and toward the street.

“I love you, too, Spike,” Buffy whispered, wondering if his super-sensitive hearing had picked it up.

He heard her, and smiled, but didn’t turn back. There would be plenty more opportunities for her to tell him again, and having heard her whispered declaration, he knew he could wait for the next time.

Chapter 7

Spike rolled over in his bed and squinted against the thin ray of sunshine that was creeping in through the crack in the curtains. He promptly rolled the other way, out of bed, and walked around the bed to close the small slit in the curtains. Much to his chagrin, the curtains would not stay closed. The tiny crack kept reappearing, directing the single ray of sunlight to the precise spot on the bed where he’d been laying. Finally he was so frustrated with the process, he pulled a chair over to the window and used it to trap the curtains closed.

* Ha! *  he thought smugly *even a wayward window covering can’t foil the sleep plans of the Big Bad.*

As he crawled back in bed and snuggled under the covers, he wondered if his little Maggie was still snug in her bed, or if she’d already woken up to find some new adventure for the day.  Judging by the way Buffy was trying to stifle a yawn when he left her house the night before, he hoped for her sake that Maggie was still asleep. He smiled to himself as these thoughts invaded his head. The Big Bad has a daughter, who in the span of a couple of hours already had him wrapped around her little finger. Well, that could certainly put a crimp in the whole “I’m evil, Grrr.. Argh…” persona.

Across town, a very stealthy five year old snuck into her mother’s room virtually undetected. Of course, when your mother is the Vampire Slayer, with all those heightened senses, it’s quite a trick to get away with much of anything. Rather than spoil her daughter’s attempt, and actually a little curious as to what she was going to do, Buffy lay perfectly still and kept her eyes closed as Maggie approached her bed.

Maggie climbed up onto Buffy’s bed and lay down, facing her. She then took her little hand and started patting Buffy’s cheek, whispering “Mommy, wake up, Mommy”.  When she received no response from her whispers, her voice grew louder, and a little more demanding. “Mommy Mommy Mommy… it’s time to wake up!” Buffy opened her eyes and looked into her daughter’s smiling face.

“Good morning, my sweet little bit. Did you sleep ok?” Buffy asked as she noted the time on her alarm clock: 7 a.m. Maggie excitedly nodded her response as Buffy yawned. “Well, what do you say we snuggle back into Mommy’s warm bed and sleep a little longer this morning, and then we’ll go have a picnic in the park later?”

“Ok!” Maggie crawled under the covers and curled up next to Buffy. “After we go to the park, can we go see Will-yum?”

Buffy hesitated before saying, “No, baby, I think he had a lot to do today. But he’s coming back over tonight because we still have some things to catch up on. So you can see him then. You really like him, don’t you?”

“Yes. He was in my dream last night. I started having that dream again where the monsters chase me, but he came and told them to go away, just like he promised. And they left and I only had happy dreams after that.”

“Well then you’ll have to tell him about that when he comes over later. I’m sure he’ll be very glad to know he saved you in your dream.” Every night I save you…she remembered his words vividly. Buffy held her daughter close, and they drifted back to sleep, both having sweet, yet quite different, dreams of Spike.

+ + + + + + +

While a young mother and her daughter enjoyed a picnic in the park, a sleepy bleach-blonde vampire was finally waking up to start his “day”. Spike looked at the clock and knew that he had several hours to kill before time to go back over to Buffy’s, and he had no idea how he planned to waste the time.

He sat up, propped against the headboard and took in his surroundings. The Sunnydale Inn was one place that had most definitely changed since he’d left. He remembered driving past the place years ago and noting how disgusting it looked. Now, it was one of the nicer places to stay in the small California town. It was nicely furnished with cushy beds and soft linens, with pretty carpets on the floors and marble in the bathroom. He wasn’t sure who had taken over management of the place, but he had to give them credit for a job well done. He hadn’t told Buffy where he would be staying, and he briefly wondered if she would be surprised at this choice of accommodations. * She probably thinks I just moved right back into the crypt when I came back *  he thought. Funny what a little time in nicer surroundings would do to a person.

A snort escaped his nose as Spike thought Oh yeah, I’m the Big Bad, alright- sitting an almost posh Inn wondering what my precious little girl is up to today and counting the hours till I see her again. Oh well…

As he warmed up his breakfast in the little microwave in his room, he thought back over the events of the past 24 hours. When he decided to come back to Sunnydale, Spike had assumed that he wouldn’t find things exactly as he’d left them. But never in his unlife did he expect to come back and find Buffy with their daughter, and seeming to be so happy with the child and the prospect of him being back. He’s expected her to be angry with him, throw a few punches, tie him up and make him explain exactly where he had been for the last five years, and then make him earn his way back into her good graces. And he’d actually been prepared for that. But now… she seemed to welcome him with almost open arms. It was all very strange. She hadn’t even so much as asked him where he’d been or why he chose now to come back, much less demanded anything from him. Spike had to admit he was a little unnerved by the whole situation.

And then he thought back over all the things he’d missed. Taking care of Buffy while she was pregnant. Watching her grow into that cute little pregnant figure that he was sure she’d had (he just knew that she was probably the most beautiful pregnant lady that ever lived). Being there to hold her hand when Maggie was born, to soothe her and tell her the pain would be over soon. She’d promised him that she would tell him all about it, but a part of him was a little sad that he’d missed it nonetheless. Then he thought about Maggie. He’d missed her first word, her first step, all her first holidays. Maggie was the only child that he’d ever have, and he missed all those things.

Just then, he made up his mind that he would explain everything to Buffy and beg her to let him be a part of their lives from now on. He just couldn’t bear to miss anymore of Maggie’s life.

+ + + + + + +

Buffy and Maggie came through the back door, Buffy carrying all of their stuff from the park earlier. Maggie skipped into the kitchen, totally ignoring the fact that Buffy was struggling with the picnic basket and all of her toys that she’d insisted on bringing to the park.

“That was the most fun picnic ever, Mommy!” the child exclaimed.

“Well, baby, I’m glad that you had fun. Now go on upstairs and I’ll be up soon to tuck you in for your nap.”

Maggie stomped her little foot on the floor. “I don’t want to take a nap.”

“You have to take a nap.”

“But Mommy…” she pleaded, as crocodile tears welled in her eyes. “If you make me take a nap, I’ll miss him.”

“Miss who, sweetie? It’s not time to watch the Count yet. Remember, he comes on at 4.”

“No, not the Count, Mommy, Will-yum. He’s coming to see you, isn’t he? And if I’m asleep I won’t get to see him. Will you make him stay, please?”

Buffy smiled. Maybe telling Maggie about her father was going to be easier than she’d anticipated. “Maggie, he’s not coming until just before dinner. You’ll be up and I promise you’ll get to see him. Now, up to your room for a nap, Little Bit. I’ll be up in a minute.”

A huge grin broke over the child’s face, and she skipped happily up to her room for her nap. Buffy was amazed at how accepting of Spike Maggie had been. But still, she was a little apprehensive about telling her that he was her father. She just wasn’t sure how to do it. But Spike was back now, and he could help her find the right way to tell her. At that moment, when Maggie was so happy to know that Spike was coming back, Buffy decided that after they had caught up on everything, she would make sure that Spike would stay with them, and be a part of their lives. He had already missed so much of Maggie’s childhood, and Buffy didn’t want him to miss anymore. 

Chapter 8

Buffy hurried around the kitchen, trying to decide what to cook for dinner. Her mind was in a thousand places all at once and she felt like she was going on auto-pilot as she moved around the kitchen. Her thoughts were suddenly pulled out of nowhere when the phone rang.

She was a little relieved to hear Willow’s friendly voice on the other end of the line. After chatting for a few minutes Buffy decided it was time to tell Willow about Spike. Willow reacted as only Willow could…she started babbling on, reminding Buffy of everything Spike had done in the past, and wondering why he’d picked now to come back, and wondering where he’d been for the last five years.

Buffy interrupted her babbling. “Willow, stop. How many times have I said that I wished he was here, that he wasn’t missing so much of Maggie’s childhood?”

“Well, a lot of times but, Buffy, but are you really sure that this is a good idea? Have you told Maggie yet?”

“No, I haven’t quite figured out how I’m going to tell her yet. But Will, she already thinks the world of him. I’m going to talk to him and see how he thinks we should tell her.”

“Well, I’m sure that you’ll do what’s best for Maggie. This still seems a little weird, Buffy. I mean, you don’t even know where he’s been or what he’s been up to…”

Buffy sighed. “Will, I know you have reservations. I do too. But I’m asking him to trust me in all of this, and I think that trusting him is the least I can give in return. I just need your support.”

Buffy could tell that Willow was getting choked up when she started to speak again. “Buffy, I’m sorry. Maybe if we had all been more supportive of you in the beginning none of this would ever have happened. He might never have left and Maggie wouldn’t have spent all these years not having her father in her life…”

“No, Willow. Please don’t do this. None of what happened was your fault, and what’s done is done. But now I have to focus on what I can do to make this right. And this feels right.”

“Well, then, I’m happy for you. If there’s anything I can do you’ll tell me, right?”

“Of course I will.” Buffy reassured Willow. “You’re still coming for Maggie’s party next week, right?”

“I’m going to try. We’ve had some weird stuff come up at the school, but I’ll know for definite by the weekend. You’ll give her my love?”

“Sure thing Will. Listen, I’ve got to go. Talk to you soon. Bye.”

Just as Buffy hung up the phone and went back to her dinner decision, she was interrupted again by a knock on the front door. She didn’t even have to look at the clock to know that it was time for Spike to arrive.

She went to the door and swung it open with a grin. Spike was standing there holding a bouquet of flowers; tiny sterling roses, sweet Williams, freesia, and stargazer lilies, all tied with a simple purple ribbon. Buffy’s smile grew even wider as she exclaimed “Oh, Spike! You didn’t have to bring those flowers for me.”

Spike smirked. “Actually, pet… I didn’t. These are for Maggie.” He watched as the pout that he loved so much replaced her huge grin.

“Oh,” was all she could reply.

Spike then brought his other hand out from behind his back to reveal a bouquet of blood red roses. “These, love, are for you.” And there was the smile he loved even more. Buffy blushed as she took the flowers and closed the door behind him. She led the way to the kitchen, and Spike followed, noting how quiet the house was.

“So, I was just getting ready to cook dinner. Any suggestions?” Buffy grinned as she went about gathering pots and pans from the cabinets.

“Um, what do you know how to cook?” Spike looked away when Buffy shot him an evil look. “What? I never knew you to cook much of anything, except for that one Thanksgiving that you insisted on making a big feast. And even then I wasn’t allowed to eat, so how do I know you’re any good at this domestic, Betty Crocker bit?”

Buffy smiled. “Ok. Point taken. But I’m actually not bad at the Betty Crocker bit. Maggie actually eats most of what I cook for her.”

“Probably just ‘cause she doesn’t know any better” Spike joked. “Where is Bitty Buffy anyway?”

“She’s upstairs taking her nap.” Buffy told him over her shoulder. “I had the hardest time even getting her to go down for a nap. She was afraid she’d miss your visit. Like I’d just let her sleep right though you being here or something.”

“Really? So how’d you get her to go to sleep?”

“I had to promise her that you’d still be here when she woke up. When I promised not to let you leave without seeing her she finally agreed to take her nap. I was just about to go get her up when you got here.” Buffy told Spike. “I guess I’d better go do that now, or she’ll never go to sleep tonight at bedtime.” Buffy walked around the island toward the door. When she reached the door, Spike stopped her.

“Wait, Love, can I do it?”

“Can you do what?” Buffy asked, turning to face him.

“Can I go wake her up from her nap? Unless you think it would scare her for someone different to wake her.”

“No, I don’t think it would scare her. If you really want to do it, you can.”

Spike beamed with a genuine, happy smile that Buffy had rarely seen on his face. As he made his way down the hall toward the stairs, Buffy called after him “Just a warning, Spike… she’s not really a ‘morning’ person.”

“Neither am I, pet, neither am I” he called back, before running up the stairs.

+ + + + + + +

Spike peeked into Maggie’s room and tried to be as quiet as he could be as he went into her room. He watched her sleep for a minute. Spike thought back to his first impression of her when he found her the day before, he’s thought she looked like an angel. And he thought she surely looked like a little angel when she slept. So peaceful and pretty, without the slightest hint that she had a worry in the world.

He sat down on the edge of her bed, and leaned over to place a gentle kiss on her forehead. Maggie’s hand came up to swat at her forehead, trying knock away what ever was bothering her in her sleep. “Maggie… it’s time to wake up” he cooed softly.

Spike watched as her eyes fluttered open and she squinted to look at him.

Suddenly she opened her eyes all the way and a smile spread across her face as her eyes started to twinkle. “Will-yum!” She jumped up and wrapped her arms around his neck in a huge hug. Spike hugged her back “Mommy promised that you would be here when I woke up. Did she tell you that you were in my dream?” she asked.

“No, she didn’t. Why don’t you tell me what happened.”

Maggie told him about her dream and how he saved her from the monsters. Then she went on to tell him about her picnic at the park and everything she’d done that day. Spike just sat there, holding her in his lap and smiling at all of the things she thought of to tell him. She finally ran out of things to tell him about and laid her head on his shoulder. “I’m glad you came back, Will-yum. Will you tell me a story later? And can we color pictures and watch tv?”

“Well, Bit, we’ll see what your Mum says about all of that. But now we need to go downstairs, because she’ll start to worry about us if we don’t get down there soon. And, I think you might find a surprise with your name on it in the kitchen.”

Maggie’s eyes lit up as Spike swooped her up in his arms to take her downstairs. As they went into the kitchen, Maggie spotted the flowers on the counter. “You brought my Mommy flowers,” she said to him.

Spike reached out with one hand and grabbed the small bouquet. “Yes, I did, but not these. These are for you,” he said as he handed her the flowers tied with the purple ribbon. She tightened her arms around him again.

“Thank you Will-yum.” She turned to look at Buffy. “Mommy, did you see? He brought me flowers and they are purple. I love purple!” she exclaimed.

“I know baby. William is a very nice friend to bring you such a sweet surprise. Do you want to watch some TV with him while Mommy finishes dinner?” She could tell by the look on Spike’s face that he didn’t mind, although she would have to make sure he didn’t try to let their 5 year old watch Passions.

The two retreated to the living room to watch tv while Buffy stayed in the kitchen, preparing dinner. A little while later, they heard a crash in the kitchen, followed by a loud “Spike, help!”

Spike told Maggie to stay where she was, as he ran into the kitchen to see what Buffy was yelling about. Spike found her standing over the sink, clutching a dish cloth in her hand. There was a large knife laying in the sink, and blood was dripping from her hand. “Good Lord, pet, what did you do?” He asked as he unwrapped her hand and wiped up some of the blood dripping down her fingers.

Tears started to leak from Buffy’s eyes and she told him “I was just slicing some lemons, and the knife slipped and I cut my hand. It really hurts, Spike.”

“I’m sure it does, pet. You probably got lemon juice in it. But I don’t think it’s as bad as you think it is… here, look at it” he told her as he turned on the faucet to wash out her cut. Once the blood washed away she could see that it really was only a tiny cut, one that with a band-aid would probably heal over night. The sound of little feet made them turn their attention to Maggie as she entered the kitchen.

“Mommy, why did you call Will-yum Spike?” the child asked, not being phased a bit by the blood on the towel that Buffy still held onto.

“Um, because that’s kind of his nickname, sweetie. You know, like Auntie Dawn calls you Lil’Bit. When we were friends a long time ago I called him Spike.” Buffy explained.

“But *why *?” Maggie asked again.

Buffy looked at Spike, knowing that she couldn’t tell her the real reason his name was Spike. Spike decided to intervene. “Well, Bit, see how my hair is kind of spikey? Well, it was like that way before you were born, too, and some people just started calling me Spike because of it.”

“Oh.” She said, and frowned a little. “I thought you called him Spike because he had spikey teeth, like the count has. You do have them, don’t you? Can I see them?” she asked innocently.

Buffy paled, and Spike lost what little color he had to begin with. Buffy looked from Spike to Maggie, not really sure what to say. Finally, she croaked out “Maggie, what are you talking about? What kind of a question is that?”

Maggie looked like she might cry as tears welled up in her eyes. She didn’t know she’d said anything wrong, so she said “I’m sorry Mommy. I thought all vampires had fangy teeth like the Count. Will-yum’s not a vampire like the Count?”

Buffy and Spike’s eyes flew wide as they contemplated how to answer this most observant question from their daughter.

Chapter 9

Maggie looked like she might cry as tears welled up in her eyes. She didn’t know she’d said anything wrong, so she said “I’m sorry Mommy. I thought all vampires had fangy teeth like the Count. Will-yum’s not a vampire like the Count?”

Buffy’s and Spike’s eyes flew wide as they contemplated how to answer this most observant question from their daughter.

Buffy had no idea what to say to her daughter, and while Spike could formulate a few answers to Maggie’s question, he wasn’t totally sure that Buffy would be happy with any of them. Finally he leaned over and whispered to Buffy “Well, pet it looks like she inherited your slayer sense.”

Maggie giggled. “I heard that.” She told them. Spike looked shocked, not realizing he’d said it loud enough for anyone but Buffy to hear.

Buffy opened the back door  “We’ll be right back sweetie. Sit right there.” She told Maggie as she pulled Spike onto the back porch. Once they were outside and she closed the door, she hissed “And she inherited your super sensitive hearing it seems. What are we going to tell her Spike?” Buffy demanded.

“Well, pet, this may be a novel concept to you, but how’s about we tell her the truth? She obviously knows what I am, and it doesn’t scare her, so we might as well tell her the truth.”

 

“Oh, right Spike. Like I’m going to march in there and tell my little girl ‘oh, by the way, your Daddy’s a big scary vampire. All evil and grr, but don’t worry he’s not going to hurt you. Disregard everything I’ve told you about vampires when it comes to him. He’s a good vamp.’ Is that what you think I should do?” Buffy blurted out as she started to shake unconsciously.

Spike reached out and grabbed her hand, pulling her into his arms. “No, Buffy, that’s not what I propose you tell her. I think we need to find out exactly what she does know, and how she figured it out. Then, if she really does know that I’m a vampire, and it’s not just some crazy idea she dreamed up, then we’ll tell her it’s true and make sure she’s not scared. But if it is just some crazy idea she dreamed up, I still think we should tell her the truth so that she’s not scared when she finds out later. Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned, pet, it’s that the truth always comes out sooner or later. Better she hears it from us, from people she trusts, rather than from someone else.”

“When did you start making so much sense, Spike?”

“I’ve always made sense, love, you just never listened.” He kissed her forehead. “Now what do you say we go back in there before she starts to think she did something wrong.”

The two blondes entered the kitchen, but didn’t see Maggie. They stopped, and heard her voice coming from the living room. She was talking to someone, but they had no idea who. As they got closer to the living room, they saw that Maggie was talking to her Count doll.

“I just knew he was like you, Count, I just knew it. Was I not supposed to ask him about his teeth? You never mind when I talk to you about your teeth. Maybe he doesn’t have fangs like you do, Count.  Or maybe Mommy didn’t know he had them…” she kept on talking to her doll, coming up with new theories on what she had done to make Buffy and Spike react the way they did. She turned around to look at them when they came in the door. “Mommy, did I do something wrong?”

“No sweetie, you didn’t do anything wrong,” Buffy told her. “But listen, Spike and I want to talk to you about something, ok?” Maggie nodded her head.  “Now, we’re not mad at you, but what made you think that Spike was a vampire?”

“Well,” Maggie began “remember yesterday when he blew on my cut to make it stop stinging? His breath was cold. And his skin is always cold too. And he’s so white. And whenever he’s around, I get all tingly feeling like whenever Angel was here.”

Buffy heard a growl rumbling in Spike’s chest when Maggie mentioned Angel, but he stopped when she touched his arm and shook her head at him. Maggie paid them no attention, however, and kept on talking. “And I remember Auntie Dawn telling me about her friend that was a vampire once, and when you said that he was your friend from before then I just thought he was the same person. Was I wrong, Mommy? Is he not like Angel?”

Spike had to bite his tongue to keep from laughing. Buffy rolled her eyes at him, and concentrated on what to tell Maggie. “Well, sweetie, Spike is very much not like Angel… in so many ways he’s not like Angel, but you weren’t wrong. He is a vampire.” Buffy waited for Maggie’s reaction.

Her eyes lit up, and she beamed. “I knew I was right, I just knew it!” A look of confusion crossed Spike’s face at her overzealous reaction. Maggie ran over to Spike and jumped in his lap. “So can I see them, can I ,can I?”

“Um, Lil’Bit, I don’t know if that’s such a good idea. I don’t want to scare you or anything. My fangs aren’t quite as pretty as the Count there.”

Maggie frowned and looked at Buffy. “I promise I won’t be scared, Mommy. I’m not afraid of him. I just want to see what real fangs look like. Pleeeaase???”

Buffy sighed. She knew that Maggie wouldn’t quit until they showed her. “Go ahead, Spike. She won’t give up until you show her. She’s very determined, just like her father…”

Spike smiled, and then turned away from Maggie, who was still sitting in his lap. She looked confused, but when he turned back around, his game face was on. Maggie screamed, and Spike shifted back into his normal face. He wrapped his arms around her and rocked her back and forth. “Shh, pet. See, I didn’t want you to be scared and now you are. I’m sorry.”

“Do it again.” She whispered in his ear.

“What?”

“Do it again. I’m not scared. I promise. Please do it again.”

Spike looked up at Buffy, and she nodded that it was ok. He vamped out again. Maggie smiled this time, and patted his cheeks with her little hands. Then she ran her fingers over the ridges on his forehead. When she reached out to touch his fangs, he pulled back. “Be careful, Bit. My teeth are a little sharper than the ones the Count has. Don’t want to cut your little fingers.” He winked at her as she continued her exploration of his face. She reached out again and barely touched the edge of one of his fangs, and then touched her own teeth. She leaned back down to whisper in his ear again.

“Why do your eyes turn yellow?”

“They just do, Bit. Comes with the fangs and all that.”

“I want them to be purple.”

“Well, for you, I’d try to make them be purple. But for now we’ll have to stick with yellow.” She touched his face again and his game face slipped away.

Buffy slipped into the kitchen to take dinner out of the oven. After calling Spike and Maggie to the kitchen and having dinner, the rest of the evening was pretty uneventful. After dinner they all watched one of Maggie’s favorite shows, and then convinced her it was time to go to bed. Spike and Buffy both tucked her in and kissed her good night. Before they reached her door to turn out the light, Maggie called out to them.

“Mommy, Will-yum?”

“Yes, baby?” Buffy answered.

“Since Will-yum is my friend now too, can I call him Spike?”

Spike smiled and went back to her bed. He kissed her forehead again. “You can call me anything you want to, Lil’Bit. Sweet dreams.”

As Maggie drifted off into dreamland, Buffy and Spike settled into a comfy spot on the sofa to do some more catching up on everything they missed in the last five years.

Chapter 10

As Buffy and Spike settled into a comfy spot on the sofa, Buffy smiled as she felt Spike’s arm instinctively wrap around her and pull her close to him. She’d forgotten how right this could feel, and how much she’d missed the feeling of safety and happiness she’d always felt in his arms, even though she’d been too stubborn to ever admit it before. Spike was also enjoying the feeling of having her in his arms again, and he was thankful that she was allowing him to be this close to her. He’d honestly thought that he would be in for the fight of his life when he showed back up in her life. They sat there in silence for a few moments, before Buffy started to wonder about something.

*He’s been back for two whole days, and hasn’t tried to kiss me once. What’s up with that?* Buffy silently thought to herself. Her insecurities came sneaking back into her mind, and she started to wonder if he really had come back to be with her, or if he was now just tolerating her because of Maggie.

Spike could tell that something was wrong. He didn’t have to be looking at Buffy to feel when the smile faded from her face and was replaced by a contemplative frown. He knew that “what’s wrong” was a loaded question, and one that was better left alone. He figured that if he just gave her time she’d talk. So instead of pushing, he simply tightened his hold on her and lovingly kissed the top of her head before resting his cheek there.

The kiss to the top of her head did it. She inched out from under him and turned slightly to look in Spike’s eyes. “Did you mean it last night when you said that you still loved me, Spike?” she asked, searching his eyes for an answer, and finding it before he even spoke.

He tilted his head to the side and gave her that innocent look that could turn anyone’s knees to jelly. “Yes, Love, I meant every word. I’ll always love you, Buffy.” He started to get worried when her frown didn’t totally disappear following his declaration. “What’s the matter, Love?”

“Nothing” she replied, sounding less than convincing.

“Nuh-uh, pet. Something’s bugging you, I can tell. Now you can either tell me what it is now so we can fix it, or you can let it bug you some more and I’ll keep asking you what’s wrong until you tell me and let me help fix it.”

She looked a little embarrassed before she told him what was on her mind. “Well,” she started a little hesitantly, “it’s just that you’ve been back for almost two days and…” she took a deep breath, “you haven’t even tried to kiss me once.” She pouted, thinking she could break his resolve.

He looked partly shocked and partly amused that she was worried because he hadn’t kissed her, remembering a time when she’d have knocked him across the room if he even tried to touch her. But then decided to try to make her feel a little better. “I have kissed you Buffy, twice, if I recall.” He thought that the roll of her eyes was not a good sign.

“Yeah, on the forehead. I mean you kissed Maggie on the forehead Spike.” She was still pouting. And it finally became too much for him to take. He crooked a finger under her chin, and lifted her face up to gaze into her hazel eyes; eyes that drifted closed as he inched closer and closer to her. When he reached her, he gently kissed her lips. She kissed him back, and brought her hands up to his neck, pulling him closer to her. Neither could have told you if the kiss lasted for minutes or hours, but they poured all of the emotion they’d been holding on to for the past five years into that first kiss since their reunion. When they finally pulled apart, Buffy’s smile had returned to her face.

“I really missed you Spike. Have I told you how glad I am that you’re back?” She asked him as she settled back into his embrace.

“No, but you can keep on showing me how much you missed me if you wish,” he said with his trademark smirk plastered across his face. He lightly began rubbing her back as she laid her head on his chest. He looked over her and saw that the book she’d been showing him the night before was still laying on the coffee table. There was a picture sticking out of it, and he could tell that it was of Buffy but he couldn’t really tell when it was from. He leaned forward and pulled the picture out of the book, and smiled when it revealed an obviously pregnant Buffy at the beach. She was wearing a light blue sundress and hat, with sunglasses and the water was just barely skimming her bare feet. “When was this picture taken, Buffy?”

“Hmm? Which one?” she asked, while sitting up to look at the picture in his hand. “Oh, that was about a month and a half before Maggie was born. Things were slow here, so Willow and Xander surprised me with a trip to LA and we went to the beach one afternoon.”

Spike traced her image in the photograph and got a faraway look in his eyes. “I’m sorry I missed that, Love.”

“Well, I can tell you all about it, if you want.” She opened up the book and pulled out some more photos before settling in to tell him about the vacation and the rest of her pregnancy.

+ + + + + + +

Life around the Hellmouth had been…dare they say it? Boring. No big bad’s, no weirdness floating around town, no need to crack open a single volume of the ancient texts Giles left behind.  However, as Willow entered the front door of Buffy’s house, she normally would have thought there was a huge demon battle being waged inside when she heard the commotion coming from upstairs.

“Ugh! This has <grunt> got to be <crash> easier <sigh> than you’re doing it!”

“Ow! Ow! Ow! Pick it up… you’re pinching my finger! Stop!”

Willow rushed up the stairs, to find Xander and Dawn attempting to put together a baby crib, while an amused Buffy watched from her new rocking chair. She had to laugh as she watched them. Dawn was trying to hold up the side of the crib while Xander attached the rails, and all they were really accomplishing was a lot of dropping and pinching and cursing under their breath.

“Willow!” Buffy excitedly welcomed her to the crib assembly fiasco. “I’m so glad you’re back. Maybe you can help them so that my baby’s crib doesn’t fall apart the first time I put her down in it!”

Dawn and Xander rolled their eyes at her and decided to take a break. Willow walked over to Xander and whispered to him “I got everything. Can we give it to her now?” He grinned and nodded. Buffy started to wonder what was going on when the three of them gathered around her, all looking like the cat that ate the canary.

“Uh, guys? What’s going on?”

Willow couldn’t stand it any longer. “We got you a surprise Buffy! We’re all going to L.A. on a vacation!”

Buffy was stunned. “We’re going where? Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“Oh, Buffy it will be fun. Things have been so slow around here and we thought that it would be nice to just get away for a little while before the baby’s born. And if you’re worried about seeing Angel, you don’t have to. He doesn’t even know we’re coming and you don’t have to see him if you don’t want to.” Willow babbled.

“Well, I wasn’t worried about seeing him until you brought it up, but now I am. What if we run into him somewhere? I haven’t talked to him since, well, since that time I met him to tell him I was…back. And now I might accidentally bump into him and have to explain to him how I’m pregnant with Spike’s child? This is too much. It’s too stressful. Did Dr. Birch even say I could travel?”

Dawn interrupted. “Yes, Buffy. I called her and she said it would be fine for you to go on a little trip. You’ve got two months left until your due date, and she said you would be fine. And I’m sure Willow didn’t mean to get you all wiggy by mentioning him,” she said while shooting a glare at Willow.

After a little more convincing, they convinced Buffy that a vacation would be good for all of them. A chance to escape the everyday life of Sunnydale and do something fun for a change. So they all packed their bags and headed out for four days in Los Angeles. The road trip was just like any other road trip, except for the added stops for Buffy to go to the bathroom. The girls all laughed and sang along with their favorite CD’s while Xander drove. Once in LA, they did every possible touristy thing imaginable. They took tours of the star’s homes, toured everything connected to show business, went to a baseball game, and spent a day at the beach. Dawn was obsessed with taking pictures and took enough to fill three albums. She kept insisting on taking pictures of Buffy, despite the fact that Buffy objected and said she looked too fat to be in any pictures by herself. Dawn would just smile and say “Trust me, Buffy, you’ll want these one day.”  On the way home, the baby was very active, kicking and moving and constantly reminding Buffy that she was there. The more she felt her baby move, the more her thoughts turned to Spike. She took her journal out of her bag and began to write to him.

Oh Spike, we’re just on our way home from a great vacation in LA. I know…LA of all places. Willow, Xander and Dawn surprised me with it, and I was a little hesitant at first, but they finally talked me into it. And it was really fun. You would have hated it. We took in every single tourist attraction we could find. Our baby girl has been extra active today. She keeps moving around and reminding me that she’s there. As if I could forget- all I have to do is look down at my fat belly to remember she’s there (ha!). I know that I should be mad as hell at you for leaving. You promised me you’d never leave. But I’ve had plenty of time to think about it. In fact, that’s all I have time to do anymore. I quit my job at the Doublemeat Palace, and there’s not really been anything to patrol for all summer. When there is Willow and Xander patrol. They’re scared that I’ll get hurt if I go out, and I know that you’d probably feel the same way. So I just sit around and think and try to get the house ready for a new baby. But mostly I think about how much I wish you were here to help me and I know that you’re not because I pushed you away. I was too scared to admit that I had any sort of feelings for you and I guess it finally just got to be too much for you. But now I think I know a little of how you felt. Somedays all I want to do is come to you and feel safe in your arms, and feel loved and it almost breaks my heart that you’re not there. Is that what it was like when you would tell me how much you loved me and I would send you away without a second glance? I wish you were here to feel our baby girl moving. She’s a little reminder of you. She reminds me of how much you loved me, and how much I love you, and that even though I was too scared or proud to admit it, something good could come out of loving you. I hope that you will come back soon. I know that I’ve probably hurt you too much to hope that you’d want me again, but I want our baby to know you. I know you’ll love her, and I don’t want to keep you from being part of her life. I’m going to tell her all about you, and I know she’ll love you too.

Buffy put her journal back into her bag, and closed her eyes to take a nap. Before she knew it they were back home in Sunnydale. Buffy managed to sneak out of the house and go to Spike’s crypt in the hope that he’d come back while they were gone. But she found it just as empty as when they left. She allowed a tear to fall down her cheek as she walked back home, wondering where Spike was and if he would ever come back.

The next month and a half passed by without much action. Buffy managed to get the nursery totally set up, and everything was ready to bring the baby home. Now she just had to wait until it was time, and according to her doctor she had about two weeks left. Dr. Birch instructed Buffy to take it easy, and get plenty of rest. Five days after that visit to the doctor, Buffy woke up with a feeling that she’d never felt before. She got up out of bed, and just as she stood up a sharp pain shot through her stomach. “Oh, I think it’s time,” she said to herself. She went out into the hallway and started calling for Willow and Dawn. “Will, Dawn… come quick! I think it’s time! Hurry!”

Willow and Dawn came running out of their rooms. Dawn looked scared. “But Buffy, the baby is not supposed to be here for  like 10 more days!” Willow managed to calm Dawn down by assuring her that babies are born early everyday. They grabbed Buffy’s bag and headed to the hospital.

About 12 hours and many curses and screams later, Buffy heard her baby cry and watched in wonderment as the nurse wrapped the little child in a blanket and placed the baby in her arms. Tears streamed down her face as she looked at the child. Buffy whispered “Hey little one. You’re finally here. I feel  like I’ve waited so long to see you, and now you’re here. I love you so much, and I promise I’ll keep anything bad from happening to you.” Dawn and Willow had been allowed to stay in the room with her the whole time, and both girls watched from the corner as Buffy spent the first few moments with her daughter.

The nurse came over and gently interrupted Buffy. “Have you decided on a name yet, Ms. Sinclair?”

Buffy blinked her tears away and replied, “Yes. Her name is Margaret Anne.”

“Buffy, you named her after Spike’s sister. That’s so sweet!” Dawn cooed from across the room.

+ + + + + +

Spike wrapped his arms around Buffy again as she told him about Maggie’s birth. He really hated that he missed it, that he had stayed away for so long, but he knew that he really didn’t have a choice. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there to hold your hand, Love. I can’t even imagine what it must have been like to be there to welcome her into the world.”

“Well, if I’d let Dawn have her way we’d have it on video. She wanted to tape the whole thing and I wouldn’t let her.”

“That’s probably a good thing. I mean as much as I would’ve liked to be there, I don’t really think it would be the same watching it on the telly.”

Buffy laughed and got up to go check on Maggie. Spike went to the kitchen to make some hot cocoa, and took with him a huge stack of photos that Dawn had taken of Buffy while she was pregnant. He smiled as he flipped through the photos and made hot cocoa for he and Buffy. Then he remembered that Maggie had mentioned Angel being there before. When Buffy came back he’d definitely have to ask her about that.

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